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need help adjusting to his size
#1
i need advice. seeing this new guy, just a few months now, going well. but... the catch is that hes, well. lets call it gifted. so much so that iv literally gone to PP after weeks of bleeding to see what my problem was.
much to my embarrassment, and that nurse practitioners surprise, she wasn't much help. she told me to ask my peers. well, im not too close with many gay men personally. so, not knowing where to turn. hi!
anyone that can offer me advice, its much appreciated. from literally making sex possible again, to healing techniques. it would be greatly appreciated.
blessed be.
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#2
Well the rectum/anus is an interesting bit of construction. The initial chamber (rectum) is between 4-6 inches long and really not that wide.

[Image: intestine.png]

The rectum does a sharp 9 degree turn into the Sigmoid colon, which does a J turn upward into the descending colon.

In fisting (you may have seen this in video) It takes a lot of practice and a lot of slow gentle movements to get one's arm up to the elbow - one literally shifts the internal organs around, straightening out the sigmoid colon, and even reaching as far up as the junction between the Transverse and Descending Colon.

If done properly and with a lot of 'training' - meaning many sessions of expanding and 'toy play' using larger and larger 'toys' to stretch open the rectum, anus and straighten out the colon - the human body is highly adaptable.

I'm using this as 'example' and strongly suggest you don't sit on a fist/arm or traffic cone any time soon.

Understand your ass is not designed to take things up it. It is designed as an exit-way only. The sphincter muscles are designed to push things out and to prevent stuff from going back up - stuff like water - which allows us to swim without taking on water and going down like the Titanic.

The sphincter and other related muscles like any other muscle can be trained, can be stretched can be exercised to do things outside of 'normal' activities. But like building up a large chest, or training your legs to be able to stretch to put your heels behind your head, it takes a lot of exercise, a lot of minor sessions where you slowly push your limits.

If you are bleeding from a (one) session of anal sex - you all went way too fast.

He is going to have to accept for a while that his wang is to large and he is going to have to learn how to to 'finger' you and slowly open you up. This means several minutes of slow probing and 'finger-fucking' with one finger, then graduating to two fingers then three - this can take a fairly long time - and hour wouldn't be out of the question.

We are talking about muscle - if you have regular sessions of sex say every other day type regular, a time will come - a couple three weeks, when you will not need to be fingered for an hour beforehand - you might actually get to the point that a little spit/lube and a slow sliding is all you need. Why? because your muscles will learned how to accept this invader.

Lube is all important here. The anus doesn't secrete sufficient amounts of lubricant to handle being fucked. Your anus does have a minor amount of lube, predominately the mucous that mix with your fecal matter - this makes it easier for everything to come out when you do your daily constitutional.

If you got to the point where you are bleeding so much you felt you had to bring it to Doctor's Attention, then its time to stop having sex until you stop bleeding and at least for 2 weeks there after to give your body all the time it needs to heal.

The most typical problems that lead to bleeding is torn or scraped tissues. Scraped is due to friction - tearing is often due to the sphincter being forced to open up way faster than it has learned to do.

You might want to consider using butt plugs - various sizes, you insert one for a few hours each day, starting with the smallest diameter ones. This will train you to accept the 'stretching'. -train your muscles to relax and accept. Graduating to thicker and thicker.

Dildoes and other toys can be part of the sex play, again graduating to thicker and thicker. Most sessions of fisting (the extreme stretching sport) start off with lots of fingering and toy play - yes even on guys who have years of being fisted under the belt need to be slowly opened up to accept thicker and thicker.
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#3
Welcome to the forums, JJJ.

As BA pointed out so thoroughly, your first step is to heal. No anal sex, dildos, or butt plugs for a while. So how do you heal if you have been bleeding for weeks?

I don't have much experience there, but I did have a bleeding hemorrhoid once (no fun either). What seemed to work for me was vitamin E oil applied directly to the area. You didn't say, and maybe you don't know, exactly where you are bleeding. You can google "vitamin E suppositories" if the bleeding is out of reach of your finger tip. **Taking Vitamin E internally may cause problems if you're also taking warfarin, so if you are on other meds proceed with caution.**

I'm no doc, so do your own research before trying some stranger's remedy! If anything works for you, you might educate that nurse practitioner so she can help someone else in the future.

In the meantime, get creative with your boyfriend. Don't take his monster again until you have worked your way up to it. Good luck!
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#4
Oh Heeeeeeeelllllll No Chicken

Don't be about to let no guy bust open my walls, no no hunni, it's not that kind a party!

BA is correct, you need to heal that ass gurl.

And while we're on Ass, make sure you respect it and definitely make sure who ever you decide to let in it, respect it as well, cause this isn't just any ol' fuck hole, this is your Ass we're talking about. You still need to utilize that bad boy for other stuff too.

He wants to plow you like a crop in season, you need to tell that boy to hold up and take a second to do all the prep, you don't go yanking plants out the ground.

And further more, the Ass or rectum, is not a black hole, it don't just suck up every and anything you place it over, it needs to be trained like BA said, so just as he shouldn't be impulsive and fuck happy, neither should you so much, because you'll end up hurt and he can walk away with his walls gurl.


Heal yourself babes, and make sure you take the proper steps for safe, enjoyable and as minimally painless anal sex as you can and you won't have to worry about Bleeding.

I hope you and your bottom end get better soon Hands-make-heart
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#5
Witch-Hazel. Cortisone. LUBE and PATIENCE.
Good Luck.
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#6
Thank Bowyen,

Now I won't be able to sleep for days.
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#7
To the OP,
it seems you have fissures that need some TLC.


Like others have said,
put the butt sex on hold until you're completely healed.


Then, take some time to "train" that bum
to take your lover's piece
without any of the carnage involved.


LUBE, LUBE, and more lube...


Better use condoms too,
since your battle scars are internal,
and may indicate a possibly chronic condition
so you're at higher risk of contracting things like HIV.


In reference to the the title, "need help adjusting to his size,
there's nothing you can do to lighten his load...
penis girth and length are life long predispositions.


Learn to work with it,
or dump him for someone with a smaller willie.


Bowyn Aerrow Wrote:In fisting (you may have seen this in video) It takes a lot of practice and a lot of slow gentle movements to get one's arm up to the elbow - one literally shifts the internal organs around, straightening out the sigmoid colon, and even reaching as far up as the junction between the Transverse and Descending Colon.


I've always wondered how that worked....
I've seen videos where people must have gone way past the colon,
or stretched it out length-wise,
with the way it looked....


Crazy shit!


Like you literally see the toy probing into his rib cage
because he was so skinny....


There has to be a down side with rearranging one's internal organs
for that kind of extreme toy play...


Fascinating, but oh so disturbing....


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#8
amen to all of you! from the factual, to the humorous. i truly appreciate the information. will defiantly have some time to heal, and do some background work. i agree that information about fisting was disturbing and yet... i did want to know how in the, that worked. i cant say i appreciate the comparison, but it served its purpose. i am grateful. truly. this was my first post, kinda frantic in the middle of the night," holy hell what do i do, lets try this" type scenario. but, the warm welcome, and amount of concern and information offered has made me take this to heart a bit more.

truly, thank you guys. means a lot.
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#9
The intestines sort of just sit there, there is really not much in the way of connective tissues. In other species this commonly leads to 'knotting' of the intestines which is often fatal.

It happens with humans, but not as often... https://www.google.com/#psj=1&q=intestines+knotting Not something you may want to be reading if you are grossed out by medical stuff...
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