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oh god wat do i do
#11
im gonna take ur advice beaux and be as brave as i can. im joining the guard to get away from my brothers psycho wife and their problems, after that im movin back 2 cali but ill probably end up in oklahoma apparently they just came into some $, all my friends in OK are musicians its where i could get some recording done but i think ill bounce back and forth from there to cali cuz i miss home and there is not a large gay community in OK.
the guard is the only place that takes non-graduates so its my only choice, i dont know what else to say right now im very confused and its hard to think.

im sorry about your dad marshlander, take care of yourself you're a wonderful person u have helped me with alot of problems take it easy it will always hurt just let it thats all i know about dealing with loss
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#12
dasbas Wrote:im gonna take ur advice beaux and be as brave as i can. im joining the guard to get away from my brothers psycho wife and their problems, after that im movin back 2 cali but ill probably end up in oklahoma apparently they just came into some $, all my friends in OK are musicians its where i could get some recording done but i think ill bounce back and forth from there to cali cuz i miss home and there is not a large gay community in OK.
the guard is the only place that takes non-graduates so its my only choice, i dont know what else to say right now im very confused and its hard to think.

im sorry about your dad marshlander, take care of yourself you're a wonderful person u have helped me with alot of problems take it easy it will always hurt just let it thats all i know about dealing with loss

Best of luck! Confusedmile:
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#13
Sorry for the mess you are in. At 20 my mother died of apparent suicide. I use the word "apparent" because no autopsy was performed. At that time I was certain she had committed suicide and felt responsible for her death. Did I do anything? Talk to anyone who knows of suicide and they feel guilty. I heard of Curt Cobane--Nirvana singer--I felt guilty. Suicide is peaceful solution for person who has died but lifelong confusion for the living. I still feel I might have done something different. With that said 45 years later I am still confused. Again no autopsy was performed, Family doctor completed death certificate as "cardiac arrest" no shit doc I found her body I knew her heart stopped.
I still don't know why. I almost wish I knew it was suicide so I could have one fact to deal with. Every year around Christmas we find someone more responsible than ourselves. Your position sucks and my position half-sucks 45 years later.
My solution at that point was to start a new life, I joined the Marine Corps and I definitely started a new life. On January 4th, 1969 I graduated from Parris Island feeling reborn and proud.
The closest description I ever heard to Parris Island came from one guy who said he felt like he got involved in some kind of weird group marriage to 80 total strangers. The single best thing they teach you is how to feel totally guilt free. Do your job, never cause a problem, never pick on another marine and if anyone doesn't like you or the marine corps---simply blow their brains out---no fuss no muss they're dead and you aren't. Look for injured marines, bring bodies of dead marines home to their families and never guess, care or worry about how many of the enemy you kill. Dead enemies are the responsibility of the enemies family. Marine exists only as a combat unit and every marine from private to Commandant goes through the exact same training and every marine is a coequal owner of marines. At one point a rather arrogant young lieutenant took offense that neither I as platoon sergeant or my men had saluted. I promptly pointed out that we have work to do and I wasn't wasting anyone's time on giving him salutes, Buy a mirror and salute yourself if you need one so badly. He informed me he could have me court martialed for my attitude. Here let me save you the trouble of locking us up, this platoon is on strike. He seemed somewhat rattled by my statements; he disliked the laughter from every member of our platoon, Hop to it lieutenant you got 50 miles of wire to run and we are on strike, What's the matter didn't you bring enough handcuffs for my platoon. Hey I didn't see you at the briefing do you know what ship we are communicating with. This sounds awful to non-marines. You do not command a platoon you join a platoon. A rather booming voice then demanded of me what was going on. I said nothing major the lieutenant and I are discussing strategy. Hey lieutenant why don't you tell the major you want the platoon arrested. The young lieutenant said what do you want? Try joining our platoon. He apologized to the platoon and I told my platoon let's keep the lieutenants head from being ripped off by the major. You were told that,sir [my one polite gesture that day] you JOIN a platoon. You don't barge in and command a platoon. Sounds like a lousy beginning but the lieutenant did know how to do his job. Because of training marines are taught to love each other like family.
A major advantage exists in the marine corps for gays. The marines are absolutely homophobic deficient. Marines are flat out taught to love each other from day one, Are they open to homosexuality? No it is treated the same as heterosexuality---something a marine does in his spare time, If you claim to have gaydar every single marine will appear gay. Take your pick. Try it and see
what happens. I will never forget my first french kiss with another marine. I have never met a marine who seemed gay to me and I never get accepted by gays as gay. I know a lot of marines who make love to each other, I would never believe that a marine would ever rat another marine out. Everything in marine corps has a marine spin to it. I couldn't care less how army, navy or air force deal with their men. If you come into the marines you JOINand do it the marine way. You will never be thanked for being gay since it is not part of our way. Marriage is not part of our way. In PI every marine grabs his cock and raises his rifle and says This my rifle this my gun---This is for killing this is for fun.Sex is so utterly ignored that you are told that if you want to get laid go pay a " native" for sex and leave your platoon out of it. If you walked around telling other marines you loved your wife--someone will tell you are gay. The other 3 branches treat sex like a women's right issue. Civil, human,gay, straight rights are weird news stories which might effect you in your private lives. All marines are assumed to be having private lives. You always tell your best friends about private lives BUT you never tell the marines about your best friends. Marines care only about your combat readiness everything else is considered bullshit. The Marines taught me not tofeel GUILTY about everything including my homosexuality. And if my homosexuality is not the Marines business it certainly isn't any of your business either. Marines brainwash you from the first to last moment to be a verb. Verbs do not sit around and worry about themselves, verbs get up and so something about it, Do anything. The worse thing that can happen to you, you will die, Since the Marine Corps is already planning to get you killed, go worry about somebody other than yourself. I took their advice I love a guy and I worry about him. Some marines like to worry about women. Some marines just worry about their dogs. Do something. Do anything. Just decide and get it done,
Marines are insanely proud their philosophy of life can work for a butcher, a baker or a candle stick maker. It really worked for me.
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#14
wow that was a damn news article im gonna have to read that agian later, that makes alot of sense. than you.
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#15
You just gotta do everything you can to earn enough money to be on your own out there, so...I mean, EVEN if you have to put up with a mad bitch (well, all women are like that, so..) for a while. REally, there IS hope and you just gotta pull through this! Bighug
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#16
Just remember even with the repeal of DADT the military is NOT very gay friendly. I would suggest job corps over military unless you're absolutely sure you wan to go military.
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#17
i honestly couldnt care what anyone thinks about my sexuality in the military they can say or act however they want i can ignore ignorance. thank u tho 4 ur concern
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#18
Man i think you can ingore them but for how long? Its a lifetime discision so you should be 100% sure for taking it!
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#19
Well, just make sure that at least in basic and tech school, you dont act out of the ordinary. its a very stressful time and people WILL beat the shit out of you. fights are very common, even between really good friends...
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#20
i dont act camp at all i act very hard and manly it just my mask or whatever but i wont say anything to anyone that isnt yes sir no sir or small talk and its not really a life decision im only signing up for 3 years
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