tops vs. bottoms

[novice]

Idk which section to ask these questions but will do so here:

In my (albeit limited) experience there is a range of sexual roles but in general about 70% of gay men prefer to be bottom or are at best bttm/vers with at most 10% identifying as total tops, so -

1. do you think most top guys know/realize the odds are so tilted in their favor & thus they can be & are more picky &/or "see" their hookups, dates &/or relationships as more expendable/interchangeable?

and

2. given the situation (in question #1 ) do most guys who are well hung "see" their hookups, dates &/or relationships as more expendable/interchangeable?

That is, they KNOW they are more in demand so they don't worry about getting partners because it is so much EASIER for them (than it is for the far more numerous bottoms).

Hopefully this question will get honest responses & won't elicit too much hostile reaction.

[Wade]

Tops vs. Bottoms would be a great reality show. Like... you get a some tops and bottoms to compete American Gladiator style for prize money.

Or they just fuck.

Either way, I'd watch it.

[Virge]

I tried to find the article I read a few months ago about gay men top/bottom/versatile but can't. I remember the stats they gave and everyone I talked to about it thought they were wrong...

25% top
45% versatile
30% bottom.

Are your 70% bottom-at best versatile /10% top figures just guesses? That leaves out 20%.

You've put two totally unrelated issues together to make an either/or choice. I'm divided them.

"do you think most top guys know/realize the odds are so tilted in their favor & thus they can be & are more picky?"
No. I don't think it works that way. In fact I'm pretty sure it doesn't. It's based on mutual attraction or the lack of it and perceptions. If guy A is attracted to guy B but Guy B doesn't have the same attraction it's not unusual for the guy A to think guy B is being picky... or stuck up... or a snob...

"Do you think most top guys "see" their hookups, dates &/or relationships as more expendable/interchangeable?"

No. whether guys see their hookups, dates &/or relationships as more expendable/interchangeable has nothing to do with whether they are tops or not. It has to do with what they are looking for, how much of a commitment they are willing to get into, and many other things.

Then this....
"2. given the situation (in question #1 ) do most guys who are well hung "see" their hookups, dates &/or relationships as more expendable/interchangeable?
That is, they KNOW they are more in demand so they don't worry about getting partners because it is so much EASIER for them (than it is for the far more numerous bottoms)."

No. Being a top has little to do with penis size except to size queens and porn producers.

[LJay]

OP, there are even people out there who can deal with two tops or two bottoms or whatever having a great time with each other. Sex is not exclusively about penetration and whether one plays an active or passive role in same. The phrase, "The Varieties of Human Experience" has always fascinated me. It comes to mind when considering this topic.

[Lexington]

I can only speak for myself here, as a top-but-I'll-bottom-for-the-right-guy-if-I'm-in-the-mood.

1. do you think most top guys know/realize the odds are so tilted in their favor & thus they can be & are more picky &/or "see" their hookups, dates &/or relationships as more expendable/interchangeable?

I can only say this. If I say I want to have sex with you, it's because I want to have sex with you. And if I get turned down...or if the sex isn't very good...I have no trouble leaving that behind and looking elsewhere. And I don't think any of that has to do with my "top status" - I think I'd think exactly the same way if I was a total bottom.

Tossing "hookups" "dates" and "relationships" into the same question muddies the waters even more. I'd have no trouble walking away from an unsatisfactory hook-up....because the entire "relationship" was built on the sexual act. It's like walking away from a restaurant where you didn't like the food. "I tried it, it wasn't to my liking, so I won't be going back." But if I was in a relationship with somebody, and the sex wasn't satisfactory, I'd try to improve it. Because the relationship would be based on more than just sex.

2. given the situation (in question #1 ) do most guys who are well hung "see" their hookups, dates &/or relationships as more expendable/interchangeable?

That is, they KNOW they are more in demand so they don't worry about getting partners because it is so much EASIER for them (than it is for the far more numerous bottoms).

My experience here is kind of limited, but I'd say no. Yeah, a guy with a huge dick will probably be more popular on grindr than those packing less heat, and he can probably be more selective in who he picks. But I'd say that's true of rich people and attractive people to a much greater extent.

That said, I think it's something of a stretch to push this into something approaching "top privilege"

Lex

[Anocxu]

I thought the top to bottom ratio was different in every country?
I hear London has a shortage of bottoms?

Can any of my British Brothers confirm that?

I live in Fort Lauderdale Florida..
There are 2 tops in the entire city... and they're not that hung.

The only times i've bottomed and actually enjoyed it was with someone that I had some kind of connection...
Otherwise it feels like an organ thief destroying your insides.

[MikeW]

...Hopefully this question will get honest responses & won't elicit too much hostile reaction.

Well, you've gotten some good responses. What I'd like to know is where this question is coming from IN YOU. You may think you've asked it objectively but it's fairly apparent that isn't quite accurate. In fact, unbeknownst to you, it speaks VOUMES about how you categorize and attempt to simplify complex sexual/social relations. Apparently there is something behind this question, some personal experience and feelings that you're trying to understand or reconcile. So... what is it that motivated this question?

[rado84]

I'm not sure I understood the question but if you ask what I think you ask: I like to be on top because I like to keep evertyhing under control. Besides, being at bottom doesn't allow me to fuck him hard whenever I want.

[Pyromancer]

...so yeah...when Kev and I got together, it became The Clash of The Dominant Tops...
...he won...
..another statistic shot to hell...

As for whether tops/guys with big dicks think that way? ...only if they're arrogant assholes...

[Virge]

...so yeah...when Kev and I got together, it became The Clash of The Dominant Tops...
...he won...
..another statistic shot to hell...

As for whether tops/guys with big dicks think that way? ...only if they're arrogant assholes...

hahahahah! Same here Pie Romancer...

Jay had always been mostly a top when I met him....

And I was a statistical 100% top... because that was all I'd done twice to the guy I screwed the night before I went in the marines... hahahaha!

I like being the bottom... in fact it's been great since the first time. There's only one problem with it....

Almost as soon as it's over I start wishing he could have felt how good it was for me... so I get all horny again and do it to him to let him know how good it was...

also.....
RE guys who define themselves by their dick size.... pllllllllllease... that is a huge turn off.