yeah i agree completely. I'm not about to go rushing into a relationship, i joined here so i could talk with people and make new friends like myself that won't judge me for my choices. Pretty much everyone i know is straight except for one person so i'm definitely looking for more than just a partner. first things first
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peterinmalaga Wrote:The Pope and the Archbishop of Canterbury do not give a lot of reason to be optimistic. The Pope finds it easy enough to reconcile his conscience with his membership of the Hitler Youth and the Archbishop of Canterbury is quite accepting of sharia law courts in the UK. But both find homosexuality much more of a problem.
I think you are being a bit unfair. Most boys of Ratzinger's age were members of the Hitler Youth. The Archbishop of Canterbury's position on Sharia law is that Muslims should be able to settle their disputes in accordance with Sharia law in the same way that Jews can settle theirs in accordance with Jewish Law. The Archbishop of Canterbury finds homosexuality an enormous problem, its going to split his church apart, all evidence form when he was the Bishop of Wales suggests that he is on the liberal side of the argument but is doing whatever he can to hold the fractious sides together.
Fred
Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans.
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My parents were very religious also, and didn't take my coming out well. They did come to terms with it though, and they love my partner like family now. When I came to them (for reference, Jimmy Carter was president) they immediately told me that I'd have to go and speak to our parish priest. I told them that if I was going to go, then they would have to come with me. So off we went, and much to their disappointment, our priest was not all fire and brimstone on my ass. He was actually quite level headed and reminded them that, while gay sex is a sin in Catholicism, love is not.
He also reminded them that it was a sin for them to stop loving me, and for me to stop loving them, so we had to work it out.
We did that by me being discrete about my sexual escapades, while they got used to the idea. Now that we're all much older we laugh about it.
I don't know how much this is going to help, but I figured that sharing my story couldn't hurt.
Good luck either way.
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boxerdc Wrote:... I don't know how much this is going to help, but I figured that sharing my story couldn't hurt ... Nice to hear a tale of common sense prevailing.
Congratulations to your family 
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Aww thats awesome to hear stuff like that. It actually gives me hope that my parents will accept who i am once i come out to them. Thanks for the pastor quotes too!
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boxerdc Wrote:My parents were very religious also, and didn't take my coming out well. They did come to terms with it though, and they love my partner like family now. When I came to them (for reference, Jimmy Carter was president) they immediately told me that I'd have to go and speak to our parish priest. I told them that if I was going to go, then they would have to come with me. So off we went, and much to their disappointment, our priest was not all fire and brimstone on my ass. He was actually quite level headed and reminded them that, while gay sex is a sin in Catholicism, love is not.
He also reminded them that it was a sin for them to stop loving me, and for me to stop loving them, so we had to work it out.
We did that by me being discrete about my sexual escapades, while they got used to the idea. Now that we're all much older we laugh about it.
I don't know how much this is going to help, but I figured that sharing my story couldn't hurt.
Good luck either way. Well, I love your story... I've just been watching a film called Common Ground(s?) and it just goes to show that there is just too much hatred and ignorance and bigotry going around.... How sad. Thanks for sharing your story, Boxerdc.  mile:
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closet coffee guy Wrote:Aww thats awesome to hear stuff like that. It actually gives me hope that my parents will accept who i am once i come out to them. Thanks for the pastor quotes too! I know Roanoake is probably not a very big city, but surely there is a bigger one near enough where there are gay friendship groups that meet, or even some phone helplines somewhere. You could maybe look those us, so you can at least talk to like minded people, other than on this site. They may be able to provide useful info for you to be able to move out of your parents house, possibly finding you a job etc... You don't mention whether you are currently studying or whether you are in a job, or looking for one. I believe it would be a good thing if you found out about such groups, as they would be able to give you more practical help. As for the trip to Ibiza, well, that may have to wait. I'm thinking it might be easier for you to go and hang out in one of the gay spots of north America... Toronto, or Fire Island, or Provincetown, or San Francisco... ?
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I think you have the right idea. I mean, my parents aren't religious at all, but I haven't come out to them for my own reasons. Its something that you need to decide. If you do, then you should do so on your terms.
Are you currently in school? or working?
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I do both, I'll be transferring to a university next year and as for the job I work at a coffee shop so not exactly top dollar.  good stuff though
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If you find someone and he is the right person then he is going to be more than supportive. Just be upfront with him about it.
as for keeping things from your parents. I think you really don't have any choice but to do so. Unless you are ok with being alone.
Do some emergency planning in your mind. Think about all the "what if's" and be prepared for the worst.
Then take everything one step at a time with your eyes wide open.
Oh don't jump for the first guy you meet.( unless you meet the right person right away) Relax, be open, and find the right guy.
You are gonna make some mistakes on the way, but who doesn't.
Most of all don't feel guilty nor ashamed. You are who you are and that doesn't make you less than anyone else. Most gay guys are prepared to deal with hostile parents, but not someone who loaths themselves or hides things.
If you have any doubts about it, just ask the Openly gay Mayor of Berlin about what you can achieve.
Cheers and good luck.
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