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The WORST age
#1
Sixty is the worst age to be," said the 60-year old man. "You always feel like you have to pee and most of the time you stand there and nothing comes out."

"Ah, that's nothing," said the 70-year old. "When you're seventy, you don't have a bowel movement any more. You take laxatives, eat bran, sit on the toilet all day and nothing' comes out!"

"Actually," said the 80-year old, "Eighty is the worst age of all."
"Do you have trouble peeing, too?" asked the 60-year old.
"No, I pee every morning at 6:00. I pee like a racehorse; no problem at all."
"So, do you have a problem with your bowel movement?"
"No, I have one every morning at 6:30."

Exasperated, the 60-year old said, "You pee every morning at 6:00 and crap every morning at 6:30. So what's so bad about being 80?"

"I don't wake up until 7:00."
"You can be young without money but you can't be old without money"
Maggie the Cat from "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof." by Tennessee Williams
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#2
Excuse me while I die laughing. InvasionInvasionInvasion
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