09-06-2012, 01:45 PM
Hey guys,
I'll make this short.
Earlier this morning, the guy I've been seeing/talking to for the past two months and I had a chat in which I detailed my misgivings about him not sharing his problems with me and blocking me out of the equation because of it. After saying that it was hard for me to help another person like that because it felt like I was having the 'wool pulled over my eyes,' he promptly replied with, 'maybe it's best we just do our own things then.'
After talking with my roommate about what had happened, and about some of the things he'd done/said/not done/not said, she deduced that he was most likely cheating on his partner with me -- because he had not given me his phone number on our first meeting and had called as an unlisted number, because he refused to speak about his problems and the fights he kept having with his 'best friend,' how he wouldn't friend me on Facebook and also how, when we talked about making plans for me to go up and stay with him over the weekend, he suddenly backed down saying that he didn't have 'enough money for me to stay with him,' even though the plan had been to just stay in at his place and just hang out.
Now... from the experiences I've had with him and the things he's told me/slipped and said (basically how his mother reacted oddly familiar to his 'best friend' and an ex of his,) I've pretty much come to the conclusion that I was the 'forbidden fruit' in his relationship.
I know I shouldn't feel like this is my fault--because in the end, he was the one who started this whole thing and my naivity and overly-trusting nature over the situation really defeated me in this purpose--but I'm feeling extremely shitty right now and I'm kinda at a loss on what to do. I mean, I can't really do anything about the way I feel (nothing can fix that,) and I've already decided not to contact him anymore, but I feel absolutely disgusted that I didn't pick up on the signs and not only got into a psuedo-romance with him, but also agreed for him to come down to where I live and spend the weekend with him in a hotel (and it's not like we slept on the two separate beds in the room... which, now that I think about it, should've been another sign, especially since he said that one was for 'messing around' and the other 'sleeping.') [Yeah right.] It's a horrible feeling to know that not only had feelings for and slept with someone who was involved, but also metaphorically stabbed said guy's partner in the back by proxy.
Anyhow, any advice/thoughts would be appreciated. If you would, please refrain from laying any blame on me. I already accepted the fact that my overtrusting nature was ultimately the cause of this. I just want some advice on the matter.
I'll make this short.
Earlier this morning, the guy I've been seeing/talking to for the past two months and I had a chat in which I detailed my misgivings about him not sharing his problems with me and blocking me out of the equation because of it. After saying that it was hard for me to help another person like that because it felt like I was having the 'wool pulled over my eyes,' he promptly replied with, 'maybe it's best we just do our own things then.'
After talking with my roommate about what had happened, and about some of the things he'd done/said/not done/not said, she deduced that he was most likely cheating on his partner with me -- because he had not given me his phone number on our first meeting and had called as an unlisted number, because he refused to speak about his problems and the fights he kept having with his 'best friend,' how he wouldn't friend me on Facebook and also how, when we talked about making plans for me to go up and stay with him over the weekend, he suddenly backed down saying that he didn't have 'enough money for me to stay with him,' even though the plan had been to just stay in at his place and just hang out.
Now... from the experiences I've had with him and the things he's told me/slipped and said (basically how his mother reacted oddly familiar to his 'best friend' and an ex of his,) I've pretty much come to the conclusion that I was the 'forbidden fruit' in his relationship.
I know I shouldn't feel like this is my fault--because in the end, he was the one who started this whole thing and my naivity and overly-trusting nature over the situation really defeated me in this purpose--but I'm feeling extremely shitty right now and I'm kinda at a loss on what to do. I mean, I can't really do anything about the way I feel (nothing can fix that,) and I've already decided not to contact him anymore, but I feel absolutely disgusted that I didn't pick up on the signs and not only got into a psuedo-romance with him, but also agreed for him to come down to where I live and spend the weekend with him in a hotel (and it's not like we slept on the two separate beds in the room... which, now that I think about it, should've been another sign, especially since he said that one was for 'messing around' and the other 'sleeping.') [Yeah right.] It's a horrible feeling to know that not only had feelings for and slept with someone who was involved, but also metaphorically stabbed said guy's partner in the back by proxy.
Anyhow, any advice/thoughts would be appreciated. If you would, please refrain from laying any blame on me. I already accepted the fact that my overtrusting nature was ultimately the cause of this. I just want some advice on the matter.
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