4 months in and infidelity is here already....

[dashboardcogs]

I've had a very bad taste in my mouth about steady relationships since my last one ended 3 years ago. About 4 months ago though I met an incredible guy though that has since met every expectation I've needed in a partner. We've rarely spent more than three days apart since we've met, and we quickly became really integrated into each others lives, we've even travelled together. Everything was going swimingly well (or so I thought) until last week. We had just gotten in from a night out, and while he was in the bathroom his phone buzzed with a message along the lines of 'around for sex?'. There has never been any indication in my mind suggesting he was cheating on me, and I shrugged it off. Last night however, it happened again, from a different number, and I investigated. Going through the messages feed, its pretty obvious he's been cheating on me once a month since we started dating. I can tell from the context of the messages its purely a sexual encounter, but nonetheless I was under the impression that we were a monogamous couple, given the state of our close relationship.

No, we've never actually discussed being completely monogamous, I know, "bad, bad, bad". But we have dropped hints consistently throughout our 4 months, him more so than me. Through conversations I've had with his close friends it's something he's been looking for for a long time, and we're known in our circle as the 'perfect cute couple'. We've changed our facebook statuses, he's met everyone but my parents, etc.

I've been thinking about this all day, and I guess what I really need is input on how to confront him. I feel like I know too much because I've gone through his phone. I also have difficulty accepting "You need to have a talk and officially declare boundaries" as a means to a solution because it feels like such a cop out on his part. I feel like we have clearly been a monogamous couple this entire time and have difficulty in my mind seeing him viewing it any other way.

But I'm still not quite ready to completely wash my hands of this thing, I'd be willing to try and work through it if possible.