09-11-2012, 07:54 AM
I've recently started experimenting with guys, as I have been bicurious for a very long time. After messing around with a couple guys and enjoying it (for the most part), I've pretty much accepted the fact that I'm bisexual. There is one guy in particular that I met very briefly online. We met up and messed around a couple weeks ago and have hooked up a few more times since, and we've kind of established a friends with benefits relationship. Really, it's more like a fuckbuddy type deal, since we've never hung out as friends, just messed around.
As I'm pretty new to this stuff with guys, all I've really expected to care about thus far is sex. I'm not actively pursuing a relationship with a guy at all. But, in all honesty, I can't get this guy off of my mind. He's pretty much everything I find attractive in a guy, at least physically. I find myself wanting to get to know him more, outside of the bedroom. But I feel like he's just in it for the sex.
There's really only one big problem I can see getting in the way of me wanting to casually bring up the fact that I'd like to hang out with him more/get to know him better... He's 12 years older than me (I've found that while age is a big factor when it comes to girls for me, the same is not true for men). Along with that, he's much more "established" and comfortable as a gay man, meaning he has his tight knit group of friends that are all, I'm assuming, around his age. I feel like he would find it awkward (as I probably would too) to hang out with someone who is in their early 20's, when he is in his mid 30's.
Another reason I really don't want to even bother pursuing anything is that I'm not out at all. None of my friends, family, no one. And I really don't feel comfortable coming out to anyone at this point either. So I'm not sure that getting involved with a guy would be a smart idea. But I really can't seem to shake the feelings.
So, is it even worth it to try and pursue anything more than just the "friends with benefits" deal? If so, how should I go about letting him know I'm interested in more than just the physical stuff (and make the age difference non-awkward)? I wouldn't want to just come out and say that I'd like to hang out, because I'm afraid he'd get weirded out and just break off talking to me period. I'd rather just kind of somehow give off the "vibe" that I want more. Thoughts?
As I'm pretty new to this stuff with guys, all I've really expected to care about thus far is sex. I'm not actively pursuing a relationship with a guy at all. But, in all honesty, I can't get this guy off of my mind. He's pretty much everything I find attractive in a guy, at least physically. I find myself wanting to get to know him more, outside of the bedroom. But I feel like he's just in it for the sex.
There's really only one big problem I can see getting in the way of me wanting to casually bring up the fact that I'd like to hang out with him more/get to know him better... He's 12 years older than me (I've found that while age is a big factor when it comes to girls for me, the same is not true for men). Along with that, he's much more "established" and comfortable as a gay man, meaning he has his tight knit group of friends that are all, I'm assuming, around his age. I feel like he would find it awkward (as I probably would too) to hang out with someone who is in their early 20's, when he is in his mid 30's.
Another reason I really don't want to even bother pursuing anything is that I'm not out at all. None of my friends, family, no one. And I really don't feel comfortable coming out to anyone at this point either. So I'm not sure that getting involved with a guy would be a smart idea. But I really can't seem to shake the feelings.
So, is it even worth it to try and pursue anything more than just the "friends with benefits" deal? If so, how should I go about letting him know I'm interested in more than just the physical stuff (and make the age difference non-awkward)? I wouldn't want to just come out and say that I'd like to hang out, because I'm afraid he'd get weirded out and just break off talking to me period. I'd rather just kind of somehow give off the "vibe" that I want more. Thoughts?
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