09-16-2012, 07:17 AM
Ok, so I'll just start from the top. I'm a bisexual guy in high school who's been out for about a year, and have had this huge thing for this other guy, who we'll call X in this situation, for about 2 years. Over the last couple of years, he became very flirtatious with me to the point where it was beyond what any straight guy would do, including having playful nicknames for each other, constantly shooting each other looks during classes, overlapping legs quite a bit every time we sat next to each other, which was in almost every class, as well as smaller things such as always making a point to casually make body contact or touch me subtly when having a conversation. Basically your average cliched high school scenario, just with two guys which made it screamingly more questionable.
Now, it's also important that I note that when I came out to him as well as others, he didn't act any differently, and in fact began to make more frequent and obvious flirtatious actions such as increasing small unnecessary body contacts while talking, etc. About a year ago, he started dating this girl, and they quickly became talked about because both of them admitted to never really doing anything of a sexual nature with each other, which struck most people as pretty odd.
He broke up with this girl a few weeks ago, saying that there was someone else he was interested in and that they were "different". Now, those of my friends who knew how I felt about him quickly started to comment on how obvious it seemed to them that he liked me, which encouraged me to finally talk to him about it 3 days ago. We were just texting back and forth, which happened almost every night without fail, and I basically put it plainly that I had strong feelings for him.
Now here's where it gets troublesome and I need help. He responded saying that he was really flattered by that, and that although he wasn't sure, he had strongly considered the possibility that he was bisexual, leaving it by saying he was still a little confused. I gave it some time and later he pretty much flat out said that he liked guys as much as girls and that if there was any guy he'd want to date it would be me. Now I'm thinking I'm in the clear, right? Nope. Turns out there was some other girl he was currently pursuing, so I was like, whatever, and some what left it at that, with the understanding that he had feelings for me but currently had stronger feelings for this girl.
Fast forward one day, we're skype chatting and he says he told this mystery girl how he felt and she responded by saying although she had some feelings for him, there was someone else she was interested in (sound familiar, eh?), so I was thinking, ok, I'll give it some time and maybe he'll sort things out in his head and figure this all out. The two days in class after I broke the news about how I felt to him, he became oddly extra flirtatious, constantly talking to me, trying to move seats around so he could be next to me, doing more of that awkward leg overlapping business, and insisting we needed to hang out this next week.
Now I'm thinking, this mystery girl's out of the equation, he's told me he has feelings for me too and that he thinks he's bi, we should all be good. Not so fast though, he messages me tonight saying that he's really sorry but he thinks he's straight, and that he really wants to stay close friends. I tried to get more details out of him, but he basically shut down and tried to move on to just chatting about normal stuff, while insisting that he felt really close and that he considers me his best friend, even making a point of using the dumb nickname he had given me.
Anyone have any insight on what's going on? How do I still talk to him as just a friend, given that the only way I've ever talked to him is from that of someone who likes him? Should I just leave it and assume he's straight even after all the things he's done which no other straight guy would do? What does it mean that one day he comes out as bisexual, and the next is insisting he thinks he's straight? Help??
As you can see, I have all kinds of confused thoughts and emotions right now, does anyone have any advice on how to handle this or what might really be happening? cause I'm clueless at this point
TLDR - Guy gives me strong signals for years, does lots of stuff NO straight guy would do to another guy, tells me he's bisexual and likes me after I tell him how I feel, two days later is claiming he's straight and just wants to be really close friends.
Update (sorta): So apparently one of my friends talked to him only a couple minutes before he decided to tell me he was straight, and X told him that he was really confused and not sure. Since then, he's kept up the awkward leg touching, made a point of meeting up at a coffee place as just the two of us, and has multiple times mentioned wanting to hang out as just the two of us. On the other hand, he's complaining that this girl is giving him serious mixed signals (sound familiar?) and that he's not sure what their situation is, but for some reason he feels ok talking about it in front of me only a day after turning me down. He'll also occasionally go from being really chatty and flirty and outgoing to withdrawn. I don't know guys, I'm just really confused and advice would help at this point :/
Now, it's also important that I note that when I came out to him as well as others, he didn't act any differently, and in fact began to make more frequent and obvious flirtatious actions such as increasing small unnecessary body contacts while talking, etc. About a year ago, he started dating this girl, and they quickly became talked about because both of them admitted to never really doing anything of a sexual nature with each other, which struck most people as pretty odd.
He broke up with this girl a few weeks ago, saying that there was someone else he was interested in and that they were "different". Now, those of my friends who knew how I felt about him quickly started to comment on how obvious it seemed to them that he liked me, which encouraged me to finally talk to him about it 3 days ago. We were just texting back and forth, which happened almost every night without fail, and I basically put it plainly that I had strong feelings for him.
Now here's where it gets troublesome and I need help. He responded saying that he was really flattered by that, and that although he wasn't sure, he had strongly considered the possibility that he was bisexual, leaving it by saying he was still a little confused. I gave it some time and later he pretty much flat out said that he liked guys as much as girls and that if there was any guy he'd want to date it would be me. Now I'm thinking I'm in the clear, right? Nope. Turns out there was some other girl he was currently pursuing, so I was like, whatever, and some what left it at that, with the understanding that he had feelings for me but currently had stronger feelings for this girl.
Fast forward one day, we're skype chatting and he says he told this mystery girl how he felt and she responded by saying although she had some feelings for him, there was someone else she was interested in (sound familiar, eh?), so I was thinking, ok, I'll give it some time and maybe he'll sort things out in his head and figure this all out. The two days in class after I broke the news about how I felt to him, he became oddly extra flirtatious, constantly talking to me, trying to move seats around so he could be next to me, doing more of that awkward leg overlapping business, and insisting we needed to hang out this next week.
Now I'm thinking, this mystery girl's out of the equation, he's told me he has feelings for me too and that he thinks he's bi, we should all be good. Not so fast though, he messages me tonight saying that he's really sorry but he thinks he's straight, and that he really wants to stay close friends. I tried to get more details out of him, but he basically shut down and tried to move on to just chatting about normal stuff, while insisting that he felt really close and that he considers me his best friend, even making a point of using the dumb nickname he had given me.
Anyone have any insight on what's going on? How do I still talk to him as just a friend, given that the only way I've ever talked to him is from that of someone who likes him? Should I just leave it and assume he's straight even after all the things he's done which no other straight guy would do? What does it mean that one day he comes out as bisexual, and the next is insisting he thinks he's straight? Help??
As you can see, I have all kinds of confused thoughts and emotions right now, does anyone have any advice on how to handle this or what might really be happening? cause I'm clueless at this point
TLDR - Guy gives me strong signals for years, does lots of stuff NO straight guy would do to another guy, tells me he's bisexual and likes me after I tell him how I feel, two days later is claiming he's straight and just wants to be really close friends.
Update (sorta): So apparently one of my friends talked to him only a couple minutes before he decided to tell me he was straight, and X told him that he was really confused and not sure. Since then, he's kept up the awkward leg touching, made a point of meeting up at a coffee place as just the two of us, and has multiple times mentioned wanting to hang out as just the two of us. On the other hand, he's complaining that this girl is giving him serious mixed signals (sound familiar?) and that he's not sure what their situation is, but for some reason he feels ok talking about it in front of me only a day after turning me down. He'll also occasionally go from being really chatty and flirty and outgoing to withdrawn. I don't know guys, I'm just really confused and advice would help at this point :/
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