Tips for dating when you have kids?

[GossamerMoon]

I haven't actually dated yet, but there might be some chances in the near future. Since this was one long-term marriage, I've never before been a single parent.

I'm trying not to see the fact that I want to date women as a wrench in the plans, but it kind of it. My family is my best bet for watching the kids if I go on a date, as I can't afford a sitter. Asking them to watch the kids so I can go on any date would be awkward, but this is on another level. Not that that's what I'd be telling them. More like "Hey, I want to go out with a friend," but that feels like a lie of omission.

Even if I didn't have a problem with that, you know that people get suspicious if you're going out with the same "friend" all the time.

Then there's what if it gets very serious. The kids have no clue that Mommy has no interest in men--she married Daddy, of course. I'm sure "Breaking it to your young kids" is a whole other thread. Not to mention not telling Daddy.

At this point, my only prospects for dating are every second or third week, when their dad visits. And he's already bitchy about that, even though I have not seen anyone!

But there are a couple people I think I would like to see. It doesn't seem fair to put that part of my life off forever. But with all that's going on in my life, I can't afford to be out, especially as I am around other kids in a very, very conservative community. *I* know I would never do anything stupid around kids, but if it got out that I am gay, yeah, that would end real quick.

Why oh why do I get myself into these situations?! LOL

Anyway, I would very much appreciate any thoughts or advice that may be out there. Just remember, it's not as simple as just telling people and then telling them to deal with it. If I didn't have kids, fine. But I do, and they come first.

Thanks.