Confused, scared, and in need of advice!

[archubbycub]

Ok so when am I not confused and scared? But there has been something on my mind here lately and I need some advice. See the thing is, I'm not sure that my boyfriend is my first experience with a guy. And I know that sounds weird, by please hear me out.

Back when I was around 13 or 14 years old, I had a step cousin that I sort of "fooled around with." Nothing big, mainly just fondling and a couple of "blow jobs" once or twice. To be honest, I'm not even sure my step cousin returned the favor. It was in the dark and we were kids not even knowing what we were doing.

I've heard this is "normal" for kids that age and all but would you consider that gay? I want to be up front and honest with my boyfriend because I love him so much. And so far he has been up front and honest with me about everything and everything I've told him he has been open and understanding about it. But I'm scared he'll think I've been lying to him this whole time.

I don't even know how to tell him this or if I should. I open us both to be open and honest. No secrets at all, but I don't want to hurt him in anyway. I haven't even seen this step cousin since his mother and my Uncle divorced back in the early 90s. What should I do?