09-25-2012, 06:21 AM
I wrote up this whole lengthy post trying to explain everything as eloquently as I could, and then the computer ate it. But the long or the short of it is... I think I might be bi.
Recently I recognized that while it's men who have predominantly caught my eye, sometimes I'll see a woman and feel varying degrees of attraction. At first I shrugged it off as, "I'm just appreciating the innate beauty of my gender." Even when I fantasized or had sex dreams about women, I brushed it to the side because I had genuinely experienced attraction to men.
...Then I met her. (Yes, you may smirk, you probably can see where this is going). She's incredible in every way I can see, and I almost immediately felt a stronger attraction to her than I have for any man I've ever pursued or been pursued by. I was startled to realize she's the type of person I'd love to date, and that I would be immensely happy in a relationship with someone like herself.
Processing my attraction to her has forced me on an express train going away from the whole white picket heterosexual fenced in world. I found myself driving home alone in my car the other day thinking about her, and I said almost without thinking, "So... You know... I don't think I'm straight. I really, really like her." And it was like this weight lifted off my shoulders, and I felt an excitement and happiness that I hadn't in a long time. At the same time, I'm finding this immensely confusing. While I've always been a huge advocate of LGBTQ rights, supporting the community is far different than joining it. It feels strange and alien and a bit scary. And it's complicated as hell and I'm trying to figure it all out.
Recently I recognized that while it's men who have predominantly caught my eye, sometimes I'll see a woman and feel varying degrees of attraction. At first I shrugged it off as, "I'm just appreciating the innate beauty of my gender." Even when I fantasized or had sex dreams about women, I brushed it to the side because I had genuinely experienced attraction to men.
...Then I met her. (Yes, you may smirk, you probably can see where this is going). She's incredible in every way I can see, and I almost immediately felt a stronger attraction to her than I have for any man I've ever pursued or been pursued by. I was startled to realize she's the type of person I'd love to date, and that I would be immensely happy in a relationship with someone like herself. Processing my attraction to her has forced me on an express train going away from the whole white picket heterosexual fenced in world. I found myself driving home alone in my car the other day thinking about her, and I said almost without thinking, "So... You know... I don't think I'm straight. I really, really like her." And it was like this weight lifted off my shoulders, and I felt an excitement and happiness that I hadn't in a long time. At the same time, I'm finding this immensely confusing. While I've always been a huge advocate of LGBTQ rights, supporting the community is far different than joining it. It feels strange and alien and a bit scary. And it's complicated as hell and I'm trying to figure it all out.
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
