09-29-2012, 10:26 AM
Hello GaySpeak forums!
So I've been with my boyfriend for about seven months now. I know that's not terribly long, but we had been friends prior to us dating, and had known each other or at least known of each other in school for years also. We're super close and (I feel like) in love and we share so much together, and similar hobbies. Shit's great. Except for our sex life >_<
I mean honestly, we mess around constantly and are always having a good time and he sleeps over all the time but as far as REAL sex goes, we've tried about six or seven times and every time something just doesn't work out.
He's always been more of the "love a person as a person and not as a gender" type, so he's bisexual (openly, now) but he's had sex with two girls before and just "messed around" (not much) with one guy. Never had sex with a guy, but he's a lot smaller than me and while he's probably a little more masculine than I am (hard to judge, depending on the day) it really feels like he should be the "bottom" when we're getting intimate... at least that's how he makes it seem, and how he seems to want it to go.
*I* on the other hand, have been an openly gay guy since early high school and I've had sex with 9 guys, been top every time except for two (where I was both but mostly top...) and every other time it's worked out fine. Or at least worked out in the end, maybe slightly uncomfortable at first.
Bottom line is that it hurts him. I know to be gentle, I know to use lots of lubrication, I know to go really slowly. It's worked for me many other times with great results. I might be a little big but I'm hoping we can still have sex with each other. Maybe he's so reluctant and he can't relax because he knows I don't prefer bottoming and therefore something must be bad about it? Should I er... try to show him that it's not as bad? Would that be weird? I just want us to be able to have a great sexual relationship too and I know it's new for him but... what can I do to make it better?
SORRY! rant.
So I've been with my boyfriend for about seven months now. I know that's not terribly long, but we had been friends prior to us dating, and had known each other or at least known of each other in school for years also. We're super close and (I feel like) in love and we share so much together, and similar hobbies. Shit's great. Except for our sex life >_<
I mean honestly, we mess around constantly and are always having a good time and he sleeps over all the time but as far as REAL sex goes, we've tried about six or seven times and every time something just doesn't work out.
He's always been more of the "love a person as a person and not as a gender" type, so he's bisexual (openly, now) but he's had sex with two girls before and just "messed around" (not much) with one guy. Never had sex with a guy, but he's a lot smaller than me and while he's probably a little more masculine than I am (hard to judge, depending on the day) it really feels like he should be the "bottom" when we're getting intimate... at least that's how he makes it seem, and how he seems to want it to go.
*I* on the other hand, have been an openly gay guy since early high school and I've had sex with 9 guys, been top every time except for two (where I was both but mostly top...) and every other time it's worked out fine. Or at least worked out in the end, maybe slightly uncomfortable at first.
Bottom line is that it hurts him. I know to be gentle, I know to use lots of lubrication, I know to go really slowly. It's worked for me many other times with great results. I might be a little big but I'm hoping we can still have sex with each other. Maybe he's so reluctant and he can't relax because he knows I don't prefer bottoming and therefore something must be bad about it? Should I er... try to show him that it's not as bad? Would that be weird? I just want us to be able to have a great sexual relationship too and I know it's new for him but... what can I do to make it better?
SORRY! rant.
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