10-14-2012, 10:43 PM
So I've come to the realization that I have got to pick up the pieces of my twice broken heart and move on. Personally, I'm quite sick of this self pity and setting here wondering what I could have said or done differently.
And I realize that the first thing I have to work on is myself. Figuring out who I am and what I want out of life now that I am single again after 13 years. But I know that eventually that is going to be someone who truly loves me for who I am and what I have to give. Not someone that just wants to fix me.
And I'm not saying that's going to happen next week or next month. Hell I don't know how long this is going to take. But I do know that someday, down the road a ways, I want someone in my life that I can share everything with again. I just don't know how I'm going to fined that someone.
You see, where I live is such a small place. I'm at least two hours from any kind of big town. There are no LGBT support groups nearby and the club scene, while a fun way to relax and forget about everything for a few hours, is definitely not something I'd want to do more than once a month. And yes I have several friends who have been more than extremely supportive of me, but most if not all of them have someone or they're into the open relationship thing. And as I've said before I have nothing against anyone that is into that, it's just not for me.
So what I'm getting at is, how do I eventually go about finding someone like I'm looking for to share my life with? I really am not interested in a long distant relationship, and I want more than just a "hook up." Of course, I've never tried a dating website, and I wouldn't even know how to go about meeting someone on my own.
Like I said, this isn't something I'm thinking about doing right away. I know I have to get myself back together before I can even think about giving myself to someone like that. I'm just thinking ahead to the day when I can slowly open myself up to someone again to let them even get a peek at who I am and what I have waiting behind the walls and barbed wire and Doberman pincers and armed guards and...well..you get the idea! LOL
And I realize that the first thing I have to work on is myself. Figuring out who I am and what I want out of life now that I am single again after 13 years. But I know that eventually that is going to be someone who truly loves me for who I am and what I have to give. Not someone that just wants to fix me.
And I'm not saying that's going to happen next week or next month. Hell I don't know how long this is going to take. But I do know that someday, down the road a ways, I want someone in my life that I can share everything with again. I just don't know how I'm going to fined that someone.
You see, where I live is such a small place. I'm at least two hours from any kind of big town. There are no LGBT support groups nearby and the club scene, while a fun way to relax and forget about everything for a few hours, is definitely not something I'd want to do more than once a month. And yes I have several friends who have been more than extremely supportive of me, but most if not all of them have someone or they're into the open relationship thing. And as I've said before I have nothing against anyone that is into that, it's just not for me.
So what I'm getting at is, how do I eventually go about finding someone like I'm looking for to share my life with? I really am not interested in a long distant relationship, and I want more than just a "hook up." Of course, I've never tried a dating website, and I wouldn't even know how to go about meeting someone on my own.
Like I said, this isn't something I'm thinking about doing right away. I know I have to get myself back together before I can even think about giving myself to someone like that. I'm just thinking ahead to the day when I can slowly open myself up to someone again to let them even get a peek at who I am and what I have waiting behind the walls and barbed wire and Doberman pincers and armed guards and...well..you get the idea! LOL
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
