Is it possible to not follow your sexuality?

[Davis]

So there’s this one guy who’s a very good friend of mine and some time ago he told me he’s gay. He's 23 years old. I was surprised, because I know him a long time, however I never had even the smallest suspicion about his sexuality. Of course, I treated him nicely, we talked about it. He feels bad about being gay, he cannot really accept it, he was like „why me of all people”, he wants to be like most of the guys who like girls. By his own words, I’m the first and the last person he has came out to, because we’re good friends and I’m gay like him. I tried to help him, I tried to explain him that there’s nothing wrong with being gay, it’s just who he is. He believes same sex relationships are useless, because they cannot lead to children. He was like "I can't choose my sexuality, but I can choose whether I want to follow it".

Because he cannot accept himself being gay and believes it’s wrong, he said he wants to spend his life alone. He said he’ll not be that much of a bastard to use girls trying to turn straight, which is impossible, but he’ll not date guys either. I asked him what will he do when he’ll fall in love with some guy who’ll love him back, he answered „I’ll just send him to hell”. He says he’ll never be together with a guy, no matter what. He would even push away a guy he loved, that shocked me.

I just don’t know what to do. I want to help him so much, but he doesn't really listen. He’s not even religious and his family is not religious. I accepted myself fast, so maybe I don’t really understand what he feels like, but I don’t think it’s possible to hide from your sexuality all your life? How can I help him?