Some bad jokes...

[andy]

I got stopped by a copper last night. The officer said, "do you have a police record?"
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
I said, "Yes, Walking on the Moon from 1979."
-----
My brother was injured while attacking an armoured unit in the Gulf War.
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
His Playstation blew up.
-----
I had a date with Siamese twins yesterday.
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
I felt a right dick!
-----
An English cat called "One two three" and a French cat called "Un deux trois" are arguing over which cat is the best swimmer, so they decide to have a race over the English channel and, of course, the English cat won,
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
because the Un deux trois cat sank!
-----