Please Please gimme some advice..im going mad!

[babyboy]

Hey guys, first of all I didnt even check this website yesterday as I thought NO-ONE would reply, im so astonished theres people out there who are willing to spend their time to help me...trust me im not used to that at all. Secondly i want to say a huge thank-you for your comments, most of what you guys said is true and i know you guys must have had past experiences which is why you are giving me advice.

Right theres one thing i didnt mention which i didnt think would be relevent to the question but it seems like the root of the problem is more than this guy...well the answer for me not wanting to come out is....Im Indian. And if you are not indian yourself its almost impossible to understand how hard it is. Coming out is NOT an option, I would rather sacrafice my own happiness than do that to my family. Being an indian, theres shame that you would bring to your family and it can never happen. Ive thought many times about running away and starting a whole new life abroad even but im far too much of a coward and most importantly love my family to that to them...

This guy again has been on my mind all weekend, to be honest its not even a lust thing. I dont even think about him the sexual way that much, its more about how he can make me feel and take care of me even. I just think having someone like him in my life would change everything! Im guna see him tomorrow at work and i dont even want to talk to him because im scared of my feelings for him will increase!

There is NO-ONE i can talk to about this and to be honest never felt the need up until now.No friends or family would accept it, and i dont blame them for it either. I know this guy didnt mean to be offensive how would he know what i thought about him but its horrible to hear it. Ive thought all weekend about that one sentence just to make me happy that he thought i was "a great guy". You know what nothing is ever going to happen with him I know that as well but im just going have to get over it....

Again thank you guys so much for your replies...and to be honest I do feel VERY lonely in this because theres no-one i can talk to even though i have so many friends and family! And by the way not that is should make a difference but this guy is also white...