what is wrong with me?

[mikeyhexagon]

I do need help from you guys. My story goes as follows. I will try to make it short. Anyways I am attracted to some guys, if not I would not have been here. The ones that I try to meet are online mostly and the few websites I have been to, it seems everyone is into hookups regardless of them saying they want ltr. In all honesty I want to have a ltr with someone and start slow but everyone wants to sleep around etc..

I have been in few other relationships but it was short lived and more friends than sex, so trying to find that now is harder. I also think that I am afraid of sex, I mean doing oral or sexually being with someone. The relationships that I was in before was short lived and only did oral a few times. I like the idea of having someone to love and vs. I have also been burned before in my last relationships since the guy was cheating with other guys and did not tell me, luckily with him also there was no sex, just fooling around and cuddling.

Am I to say that I have an issue with being close or am I scared of std's or trusting someone? With little info I have given you, I love to hear your input. Oh also was raised in stable religious family too so I am not out. All these feelings of wanting it are in me but afraid to act on it. It feels horrible.

I wish I could find someone that would be like me to start off slow and get over my fears.