09-03-2016, 05:07 PM
I'm not really fat, but could already qualify as slightly overweight, I think.
I don't feel well with being chubby, especially around my belly and ass, and especially not on hot summer days... however I am bad in sports, I always feel like people laugh about me when I move in public (a childhood trauma) and I dislike vegetables and fruit because it makes my belly feel weird. I don't want to cook, any attempt resulted in having to throw the stuff away, and I don't like warm food that much anyway.
So what I usually eat is mostly white bread, pizza, meat, cheese, salmon, tuna, ham, chocolate, chips, crackers, burgers, fries, you name it... fast food, more or less. It's no work, no waste of money and time in case something goes wrong with preparation, I can keep it for days and eat it right out of the package, that's how I like it.
I feel extremely uncomfortable with buying fresh food, I have less trust in fresh fruit or vegetables than in packed factory food. I'd rather eat pure chemistry than something from nature, because I don't trust nature.
Well, I know that's not very good. And these days it's even worse, because I have quite some stress going on, so I eat more "nerve food" (chocolate, chips) and because of my sexual problems and being lonely, I try to console myself with cake and ice cream and and and....
it's the only bodily pleasure I can have, because my orgasms aren't very enjoyable.
But of course, the more trash I eat, the further I'm away from being hot, further away from finding a man.
But "healthy food" is so depressing for me that it makes me wanna cry. I really despise the taste of salad or raw vegetables and fruits, it also makes my stomach feel uncomfortable.
Anyway, I have no idea how to help myself, but I feel like I have to act before I'm getting over 100 kilos. I just wanna cry, either way, looking into the mirror or at the thought of eating healthy, but at least with trash food I can have at least some bodily pleasure, which I can't have with eating healthy... :-(
I don't feel well with being chubby, especially around my belly and ass, and especially not on hot summer days... however I am bad in sports, I always feel like people laugh about me when I move in public (a childhood trauma) and I dislike vegetables and fruit because it makes my belly feel weird. I don't want to cook, any attempt resulted in having to throw the stuff away, and I don't like warm food that much anyway.
So what I usually eat is mostly white bread, pizza, meat, cheese, salmon, tuna, ham, chocolate, chips, crackers, burgers, fries, you name it... fast food, more or less. It's no work, no waste of money and time in case something goes wrong with preparation, I can keep it for days and eat it right out of the package, that's how I like it.
I feel extremely uncomfortable with buying fresh food, I have less trust in fresh fruit or vegetables than in packed factory food. I'd rather eat pure chemistry than something from nature, because I don't trust nature.
Well, I know that's not very good. And these days it's even worse, because I have quite some stress going on, so I eat more "nerve food" (chocolate, chips) and because of my sexual problems and being lonely, I try to console myself with cake and ice cream and and and....
it's the only bodily pleasure I can have, because my orgasms aren't very enjoyable.
But of course, the more trash I eat, the further I'm away from being hot, further away from finding a man.
But "healthy food" is so depressing for me that it makes me wanna cry. I really despise the taste of salad or raw vegetables and fruits, it also makes my stomach feel uncomfortable.
Anyway, I have no idea how to help myself, but I feel like I have to act before I'm getting over 100 kilos. I just wanna cry, either way, looking into the mirror or at the thought of eating healthy, but at least with trash food I can have at least some bodily pleasure, which I can't have with eating healthy... :-(
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