Am I being too obsessive?

[MisterLonely]

Hi, I'm a gay college male and I think I may suffer from the curse of "guy obsession"--or at least that's what I like to call it. Right now I'm going insane cuz I'm CONSTANTLY thinking about those "weird" college guys that checked me out, and I can't help but feel a sense of sadness and regret when I remember those strange but brief encounters with the so-called weird guys.

Why didn't any of us make a move when we had a chance? Why did I walked away when deep down I clearly wanted it? It's obvious we both had the hots for each other. In fact, I've always been drawn to those creepy guys that have the "mysterious air" to them. It's so intriguing... like, who the HELL are they? There's just this burning curiosity of mine to know who they are. I can remember the lustful stares they gave me, their bodily movements that denotes sexual tension, and the tactics of them trying to get sneak peeks of me while I was undressing in the college locker room. And of course, I have a deep longing to FIND those weird guys again and perhaps become gay lovers.

I don't understand why... but I feel an overwhelming strong connection with those guys. I feel there's potential among us. I can't get over the past, I just can't. There's this intense urge in my soul that screams out in desperation to find those guys AGAIN, or else my soul can't relax. I mean... I'm sure there are many more other "weird" guys out there for me, but for now I'm stuck longing for the guys of the past.