10-04-2016, 10:19 PM
I met this guy, Ted, online and after chatting for a few weeks, we decided to meet in person. I suggested dinner at a local sports bar, but he wanted to pick up take-out and come to my place. I figured it was safe enough because I have roommates. We had a good time, I liked him and wanted to see him again. We had 3 more dates and all of them were a variation of that first night. I would suggest going out, but we always ended up at my place with take out and movies or video games.
It felt a little strange, and I started wondering if he had a bf he was cheating on or if he thought I wasn't good looking enough to be seen with or something. So I finally asked him.
Turns out, he's still in the closet. I came out at 15, so him being closeted never occurred to me.
It felt weird and I asked him how we were supposed to have a relationship if it had to be a secret . I asked why we couldn't go out because I go out with guys who are just friends and no one says anything. He said that because I'm openly gay, people might suspect something if they saw us together a lot. He's like, "They'll think I'm gay". Well duh...he IS gay. He also said he had no intention of coming out. I ended up breaking it off.
He said I was being a dick and not respecting his feelings. IDK, he has a right to live the way he wants. But so do I. And sneaking around denying my sexuality feels wrong to me.
Can relationships like that ever work? I know I did the right thing for me, but it was hard because I was getting to like him a lot.
It felt a little strange, and I started wondering if he had a bf he was cheating on or if he thought I wasn't good looking enough to be seen with or something. So I finally asked him.
Turns out, he's still in the closet. I came out at 15, so him being closeted never occurred to me.
It felt weird and I asked him how we were supposed to have a relationship if it had to be a secret . I asked why we couldn't go out because I go out with guys who are just friends and no one says anything. He said that because I'm openly gay, people might suspect something if they saw us together a lot. He's like, "They'll think I'm gay". Well duh...he IS gay. He also said he had no intention of coming out. I ended up breaking it off.
He said I was being a dick and not respecting his feelings. IDK, he has a right to live the way he wants. But so do I. And sneaking around denying my sexuality feels wrong to me.
Can relationships like that ever work? I know I did the right thing for me, but it was hard because I was getting to like him a lot.