Something I need advice about

[Anonymous]

I need to tell this to somebody, I've been holding it inside of me my whole life. I've always had this huge anxiety about phone calls. I only feel comfortable answering calls from my family members and close friends. Making a call is a bit easier for me than answering one.

So now I need and want my very first job. I applied for many vacancies and potential employers are calling me back now. Of course, that's only logical - how else would they reach me? But I'm afraid to answer the calls.

I even put my phone to a silent mode so that I don't hear anyone calling me. When I checked my phone later, there were like five missed calls, one number had been calling me four times and the other number was from a place that I was actually really looking forward to hear from but I never thought they would contact me. Now they did and because of my stupid and irrational fear I didn't answer their call.

I know - really stupid, I might be missing a lot of good opportunities but I can't help it. I can't even tell what exactly I'm afraid of, but it's just that when my phone rings and there's an unknown number there, there's just something in me that doesn't let me to answer it. After it stops ringing I feel so very worthless because I didn't take something that could've changed my life for no reason. I need a doctor I guess.

My family know about my anxiety and they all tell me that I'll never get hired if I keep doing this. I know they're right. But I don't know how to fight with it and I don't know how to stop it. All I know is that I hate phone calls. In my CV there's also my e-mail, why not contact me that way? That wouldn't solve the problem, of course.