11-13-2016, 10:33 AM
Hello all! New here and looking for some advice. I'm 21, live in the UK and I am gay. I haven't been in a serious relationship now for about a year, my last relationship was 3 years long.
I hit the dating apps a couple of months ago and after not having much look, I got talking to a guy who seemed nice. Anyway, we would chat on and off and that happened for a couple of months. It got to the point about a month ago where he said he wanted to meet up, so I offered to go see him but he wasn't available at that time due to some plans with his friends - a month went by and I didn't hear from him again until last week.
Last week he messaged saying he missed me, and I missed him too. We arranged to meet up, and this time it went ahead, and I went to his place on Thursday. We just chilled and watched a film, and got to know each other. He is lovely! Looking back now I realise how actually he was more nervous than I picked up on at the time. He hugged me goodbye when I left and said he wants to see each other again next week - great!
Not so great though. I text him saying I was home safe etc that night, then didn't hear from him the next day until evening time - I had text him during the day basically saying if he didn't want to take things further than he could say that and I'd rather know, I don't know why I sent this!!
Anyway his text on Friday evening said he doesn't want to rush anything and cannot say after meeting somebody once if he likes them in that way, but that he gets I don't want to be messed around. He also said it's been a long time for him (2 years since his last relationship which was also 3 years long) since he's been with anyone and he felt everything is still very new (Which it is!) and he doesn't feel in a position to rush into anything but it would be nice to get to know each other and take it from there. I replied saying I agreed, and then once again haven't heard from him all day yesterday.
It's the not hearing from him that sort of upsets me. I'm the type of person who happily messages someone I'm interested in quite often and ask how their day has been etc. So the fact he doesn't do this makes me think he's not interested? I feel like if I don't text, he'll think I'm not interested? There must be some balance here, but I don't know what it is! Right now I feel it's best to wait and let him get back in touch, if at all! It just worries me that before when he was busy so we didn't end up seeing each other, it was a month until he got back in touch - maybe things will be different now we've met, I don't know.
I think I need to take a step back, wait and see if he gets in touch. I just hate wanting to message him and feeling if I do it'll scare him off, I think I need to leave the next move up to him? It frustrates me him saying he wants to get t know each other and see each other again, but not setting a date.
Anyway, sorry for rambling. As you can see, a very anxiety-induced person here,who worries and overthinks everything! Any advice much much appreciated on how to go about things with this lad.
Cheers
I hit the dating apps a couple of months ago and after not having much look, I got talking to a guy who seemed nice. Anyway, we would chat on and off and that happened for a couple of months. It got to the point about a month ago where he said he wanted to meet up, so I offered to go see him but he wasn't available at that time due to some plans with his friends - a month went by and I didn't hear from him again until last week.
Last week he messaged saying he missed me, and I missed him too. We arranged to meet up, and this time it went ahead, and I went to his place on Thursday. We just chilled and watched a film, and got to know each other. He is lovely! Looking back now I realise how actually he was more nervous than I picked up on at the time. He hugged me goodbye when I left and said he wants to see each other again next week - great!
Not so great though. I text him saying I was home safe etc that night, then didn't hear from him the next day until evening time - I had text him during the day basically saying if he didn't want to take things further than he could say that and I'd rather know, I don't know why I sent this!!
Anyway his text on Friday evening said he doesn't want to rush anything and cannot say after meeting somebody once if he likes them in that way, but that he gets I don't want to be messed around. He also said it's been a long time for him (2 years since his last relationship which was also 3 years long) since he's been with anyone and he felt everything is still very new (Which it is!) and he doesn't feel in a position to rush into anything but it would be nice to get to know each other and take it from there. I replied saying I agreed, and then once again haven't heard from him all day yesterday.
It's the not hearing from him that sort of upsets me. I'm the type of person who happily messages someone I'm interested in quite often and ask how their day has been etc. So the fact he doesn't do this makes me think he's not interested? I feel like if I don't text, he'll think I'm not interested? There must be some balance here, but I don't know what it is! Right now I feel it's best to wait and let him get back in touch, if at all! It just worries me that before when he was busy so we didn't end up seeing each other, it was a month until he got back in touch - maybe things will be different now we've met, I don't know.
I think I need to take a step back, wait and see if he gets in touch. I just hate wanting to message him and feeling if I do it'll scare him off, I think I need to leave the next move up to him? It frustrates me him saying he wants to get t know each other and see each other again, but not setting a date.
Anyway, sorry for rambling. As you can see, a very anxiety-induced person here,who worries and overthinks everything! Any advice much much appreciated on how to go about things with this lad.
Cheers
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