05-31-2017, 04:53 AM
hi there
Long time lurker here and first post.
I am 44 and in a 18-year relationship with my partner, who is 30 years older. When we both met, there was an immediate attraction and after a brief courtship, we became a couple. We have stayed together since. The first half of the relationship was satisfying in most aspects. The second half (to date) - not so great. More because of my partner's ill health. Also since the halfway point, our sexual relationship has also suffered. It has been 5 years since we last had one. These days, he spends 18 hours in bed...leaving me to undertake the running of the household. Frankly, it is starting to exhaust me - both physically and emotionally.
Recently, I met a guy who is about my age. This was not the first time I met other guys for fun but he is different. We clicked instantly and for the first time in a very long time, I feel alive. It may sound a bit cliche-y but these days, I smile a lot more and I feel happier. I like him way too much, and likewise, he has expressed similar feelings for me. When I first met him, I did not expect the encounter would progress to the stage that I find myself in currently and to that effect, I feel I have the responsibility to tell this guy about my situation. I have no doubt that he would simply walk away from me after he is told.
In a sense, the dilemma I face is not so much about this new guy and the relationship/feelings that I have developed for him. As much as I like him, and want to be with him, I am fully aware that it would never work, in my current situation. This brings me to my problem.
My partner has been a very good to me. Despite his problems, he has never been abusive - physically or emotionally. For that, I am grateful to him. It also made me realised that I could not possibly walk away from him at this time when he needs me the most. Yet, at the same time, he no longer fulfils my emotional and physical needs, and likewise, me for him. In that regards, I feel very lonely in this relationship. I suspect he feels the same but he has been too preoccupied with his health. The feelings that I have for the guy I met has put me in a difficult situation of having to re-assess my current relationship and to think of my own future. It sounds totally selfish on my part to do so, but this new guy has somehow shifted the equilibrium. I want to move on - not necessarily with this guy - and yet, I feel obliged to remain in this relationship and see it through.
What should I do?
Long time lurker here and first post.
I am 44 and in a 18-year relationship with my partner, who is 30 years older. When we both met, there was an immediate attraction and after a brief courtship, we became a couple. We have stayed together since. The first half of the relationship was satisfying in most aspects. The second half (to date) - not so great. More because of my partner's ill health. Also since the halfway point, our sexual relationship has also suffered. It has been 5 years since we last had one. These days, he spends 18 hours in bed...leaving me to undertake the running of the household. Frankly, it is starting to exhaust me - both physically and emotionally.
Recently, I met a guy who is about my age. This was not the first time I met other guys for fun but he is different. We clicked instantly and for the first time in a very long time, I feel alive. It may sound a bit cliche-y but these days, I smile a lot more and I feel happier. I like him way too much, and likewise, he has expressed similar feelings for me. When I first met him, I did not expect the encounter would progress to the stage that I find myself in currently and to that effect, I feel I have the responsibility to tell this guy about my situation. I have no doubt that he would simply walk away from me after he is told.
In a sense, the dilemma I face is not so much about this new guy and the relationship/feelings that I have developed for him. As much as I like him, and want to be with him, I am fully aware that it would never work, in my current situation. This brings me to my problem.
My partner has been a very good to me. Despite his problems, he has never been abusive - physically or emotionally. For that, I am grateful to him. It also made me realised that I could not possibly walk away from him at this time when he needs me the most. Yet, at the same time, he no longer fulfils my emotional and physical needs, and likewise, me for him. In that regards, I feel very lonely in this relationship. I suspect he feels the same but he has been too preoccupied with his health. The feelings that I have for the guy I met has put me in a difficult situation of having to re-assess my current relationship and to think of my own future. It sounds totally selfish on my part to do so, but this new guy has somehow shifted the equilibrium. I want to move on - not necessarily with this guy - and yet, I feel obliged to remain in this relationship and see it through.
What should I do?
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
