06-04-2017, 06:19 PM
So, I guess that this is another what do I do / getting things off my chest post...
When I came out a few months ago, one of the people I came out to about my feelings was a gay mate that I've known for a few years but he had always thought that I was straight.
I don't get to see him often as we are both busy with life etc. A few months ago we spent a nice day together at a local tourist attraction. At this time My wife and I were still together, but he made it known that he had always found me attractive. He likes that I am tall and broad, and sees me as very manly, that day he kept playfully slapping my arms and back, which I loved! We connect on a spiritual and philosophical level too. He's older than me, in great shape, and is suave and continental!
I saw him yesterday evening, the first time since my wife and I split. We had my house to ourselves and listened to music, chatted, had dinner, and watched the sun go down over a local cliff- he joked about how romantic it was! He spent a lot of time telling me how attractive he finds me, and that he would like to consider a relationship with me, if I felt that I was in the right place. I found it so hard to not give in to his charm but something is holding me back. I think that boils down to two things; firstly, I'm still feeling very guilty about coming out and the impact on my wife (now in separate rooms, we have occasionally talked about the possibility of trying again, but nothing has come of this, I'm not sure if it can now). Secondly, I really like his friendship and worry about what would happen to that should something happen between us and did not work out.
One thing that I do know, it is only a matter of time before I feel that I need to form an intimate relationship with a guy, whether it is my friend, or meeting someone. That urge is growing stronger each day!
When I came out a few months ago, one of the people I came out to about my feelings was a gay mate that I've known for a few years but he had always thought that I was straight.
I don't get to see him often as we are both busy with life etc. A few months ago we spent a nice day together at a local tourist attraction. At this time My wife and I were still together, but he made it known that he had always found me attractive. He likes that I am tall and broad, and sees me as very manly, that day he kept playfully slapping my arms and back, which I loved! We connect on a spiritual and philosophical level too. He's older than me, in great shape, and is suave and continental!
I saw him yesterday evening, the first time since my wife and I split. We had my house to ourselves and listened to music, chatted, had dinner, and watched the sun go down over a local cliff- he joked about how romantic it was! He spent a lot of time telling me how attractive he finds me, and that he would like to consider a relationship with me, if I felt that I was in the right place. I found it so hard to not give in to his charm but something is holding me back. I think that boils down to two things; firstly, I'm still feeling very guilty about coming out and the impact on my wife (now in separate rooms, we have occasionally talked about the possibility of trying again, but nothing has come of this, I'm not sure if it can now). Secondly, I really like his friendship and worry about what would happen to that should something happen between us and did not work out.
One thing that I do know, it is only a matter of time before I feel that I need to form an intimate relationship with a guy, whether it is my friend, or meeting someone. That urge is growing stronger each day!
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
