Retroactive Jealousy

[The Goof]

Hello,

I am seeking advice or perhaps a shared experience in this situation. I wanted to start by saying I feel as though this issue is something I need to really work on. So any form of conversation on the matter is welcome. 

I have dated two men very seriously and been intimate with a few more than that. I never really had an issue with jealousy until my present relationship. When we began to talk about our past I realized I was starting to feel off. Normally that conversation topic excites me. However this time I started to feel tightness in my stomach and chest. The more we discussed it the more I started to feel insecure about myself. My partner constantly reassures me about all my fears. Because of this I feel guilty having this reaction. I want the feelings to just go away but I know that will require work and a lot of it on my part. I just don’t fully know where to start or why I feel this way so suddenly. 

I know specifically that I have issue with the fact that some of these former men and my partner are still friends. But situations like that have never bothered me before. The only real connection I’ve made is that my first ever partner really chastised me for being a non virgin when we met. Pretty much any story I told I was made out to feel guilty for what I had done. And I also felt ashamed of my past. I now fear I’m repeating the same cycle. 

I’ve read two articles on it and it seems to be more common than I originally thought. However I just fear I’m not great at figuring out the source of the issue on my own which most articles suggest. At this point I am still working on it and pushing to grow out of it. Just curious if anyone else has dealt with this and or overcome it.