Am I lacking affection to my loved ones?

[Anonymous]

Hi All,

There is something that is bugging me.

I feel like I might be a selfish person.

I will explain:
When my loved ones (parents, sibling, grandparents etc.) fall ill, I will bring them to the clinic/hospital.

But I will feel slightly annoyed to do so. I will think in my mind "Oh man, I have to spend a few hours of my precious time in the clinic/hospital now. I can't get to watch TV/ play games etc."

I feel that it is my responsibility to take care of them and I still choose to bring them to the clinic/hospital (though not willingly). When we are waiting in the hospital, I will keep looking at my watch and keep thinking "Oh no, time is running. 2 hours is gone. Oh no, time is running. 3 hours is gone. I could have watched a movie."

But I will never show this annoyance to my loved ones because I don't want them to feel hurt. I will always pay for their medical bills and refuse to take money from them because I feel it is my duty and responsibility to take care of their medical expenses.

Here is the thing:

Is it something common (or normal) to feel annoyed about such thing? Do you think my behaviour is acceptable?

It makes me feel like I don't have genuine affection, care and concern towards my loved ones. Like if I really love them, I should not be feeling annoyed about bringing them to the clinic right?


I am a single person right now. I'm not sure if I will still feel the same annoyance when bringing my life partner to the clinic/hospital if I am in a relationship in the future.

I understand that I might not be a good person. But I am willing to work on myself to improve myself. 

What are your opinions and advice for me?

Thank you.