Gay and Transgendered Guys, Tell Me About Your Relationships with Women

[T.C.]

I've done a lot of soul-searching lately, and I've concluded that I really want a wife and kids (and a house in the suburbs, a mini-van, a labrador retriever, etc...).

My sexual desires seem to be completely incompatible with that, however. Sexually, I'm very effeminate. In my fantasies, I'm always a woman. I love dressing in women's clothes and playing the submissive role during sex. For the past 10 years, the only type of sex I've had is being the "bottom" in casual gay relationships. I've tried very hard to picture myself as the "man" in bed, but I just can't. Therefore, I feel completely incapable of satisfying a woman sexually. At the same time, I see no possibility of ever having a long-term relationship with a man. I'm just not interested in men that way.

How do I make this work? Do I have any realistic prospect of entering a loving, long-term relationship with a woman if I can't offer good sex? I would appreciate advice from gay or transgendered guys who have had relationships with women. Under what conditions do they work and under what conditions do they fall apart?


-TC