09-28-2010, 12:13 AM
I mentioned in a recent post that I'm much more happy these days and my life is finally on the right tracks although I still have some issues to resolve.
One of them is the subject of children.
Before I came out last year I was being asked every few weeks by my dad when I was going to supply grandchildren.
At the point I came out I had resolved in my head that I would never have any. I was gay and the whole pregnancy thing just doesn't work between two guys. (And we've tried! No matter how hard I try, I've still not got Paul pregnant yet)
Seriously, since then I've had feelings that I want kids. I'm trying to sort out in my head whether that is a hang over from past pressure, or a genuine desire.
Obviously, I don't want to go down the adoption or surrogate mother route unless I'm absolutely sure. It would be hellishly unfair on the child(ren) if I got it wrong.
I do get broody sometimes. I look at the pride that parents have in their kids and think what a wonderful thing it is to guide and nurture young lives into the world. On the other hand, sometimes I don't feel that way at all. I don't particularly feel any dislike. Just that I feel I slip into neutral.
Does anyone have any ideas? How do I go about sorting that out in my head?
One of them is the subject of children.
Before I came out last year I was being asked every few weeks by my dad when I was going to supply grandchildren.
At the point I came out I had resolved in my head that I would never have any. I was gay and the whole pregnancy thing just doesn't work between two guys. (And we've tried! No matter how hard I try, I've still not got Paul pregnant yet)
Seriously, since then I've had feelings that I want kids. I'm trying to sort out in my head whether that is a hang over from past pressure, or a genuine desire.
Obviously, I don't want to go down the adoption or surrogate mother route unless I'm absolutely sure. It would be hellishly unfair on the child(ren) if I got it wrong.
I do get broody sometimes. I look at the pride that parents have in their kids and think what a wonderful thing it is to guide and nurture young lives into the world. On the other hand, sometimes I don't feel that way at all. I don't particularly feel any dislike. Just that I feel I slip into neutral.
Does anyone have any ideas? How do I go about sorting that out in my head?