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Just don't have the strength...
#1
I came out in my freshman year of highschool, and went through most of highschool "out". During this time, a good number of people were supportive, but I also dealt with a lot of BS. Behind my back, I was "that queer". Even my parents, as open minded as they are, were less than accepting.

By the end of high school, I finally got tired of the crap, and essentially "went back in the closet". I used the pathetic excuse that "because I knew if guys were hot or not, I thought I was gay, but I'm not". Lame right?

Anyway, now I'm 27...I have a wonderful wife who knows I'm bisexual, and accepts it with love. However, to my friends and family, I'm straight...and the lie becomes more of a burden every day. The problem is, I just don't think I have the strength to handle the backlash, be it positive, negative or neutral. Wondering how my brother would react damn near gives me anxiety attacks.

Has anyone experienced this...deflated feeling? I'm not scared so much as just don't want to deal with it. Is that cowardice? Lazy, perhaps? I don't even know if it's a bad thing...but it feels in my chest like life would be easier if my friends and family just knew, so we could move on.

Any advice would be SO appreciated. Should I bother? Should I just be happy that my wife accepts it? Or should I be honest with those I care about, and deal with any backlash that comes my way?

My parents are moving on in both age and health, and I would hate to lose the chance to be honest, but at the same time, I'd hate to burden them with the knowledge.

Jeebus, what do I do?
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Messages In This Thread
Just don't have the strength... - by GalenMarek - 11-08-2010, 10:35 AM
Just don't have the strength... - by LoneSomeDove2182 - 11-08-2010, 10:49 AM
Just don't have the strength... - by Mr. Not So Lonely - 11-08-2010, 01:32 PM
Just don't have the strength... - by marshlander - 11-08-2010, 05:45 PM
Just don't have the strength... - by memphis - 11-15-2010, 01:59 AM
Just don't have the strength... - by memphis - 11-15-2010, 02:00 AM
Just don't have the strength... - by SrChulo - 11-15-2010, 08:08 AM

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