Advice on my 7 year Relationship Ending.

[bostongoodtimes]

So heres the story, and I'm looking for some advice. Maybe from guys who have been in my position, and from guys who might have been in my ex-boyfriends position.

My ex and I met when he was 20 and I was 22. He was kind of a wild child, and was attracted to my responsibility and maturity. We ended up going out and over the next 4 years, he seemed to get more mature as well. he went from working in a hotel to getting a career in the police force. I encouraged him the entire time. Around that time, we both slipped up and cheated on each other. He cheated first, and "allowed" me to cheat, to kind of even it up. And it blew up from there. So he ended up meeting some kid from NH and they dated and him anbd I broke apart. The kid he met up with was totally not his type. He was a partier, but very out (My ex is not) and effeminate. The first few weeks I would conctact him, text and go to his house and beg for him to come back. Tell him how much of a mistake he was making etc etc. After about 3 months, we did end up getting back together. He regretted being with that kid and says he knew it wasnt what he wanted but he needed to do it.

So for the last 2.5 years things have been good. Our relationship has matured. As we get older, our interests changed. He still went out and drank, and sometimes too much. I was okay with it, as long as he wasnt drinking and driving or puking in the middle of the night. However, he couldnt even stop doing that. Our relationship was still good though. We'd spend a little time together every night before he went to work, either go out to eat or eat together at home and watch our favorite shows. Or go to my sisters and make dinner, or a midnight movie in Boston. Good stuff.

So he went down to Miami for his birthday and met a guy who he saw a few times. And the guy has money and I guess has enticed him so much that my ex dumped me and is now planning on traveling down to Miami to see this guy again. My ex is in love with the idea of living in Miami, but he knows he has a secure job up here that he worked hard for. He left my house, even though I told him we could work out the sex, as long as he wasnt building a relationship with this kid. I said he had to stop talking to him. My ex refused. Said he couldnt stop lying and cheating on me and treats me like crap and he couldnt stand to make me go through this. Of course, thats bull because if he couldnt handle to put me through this, he would just stop talking to the kid.

So the day he moved out, he moved an hr away into a small room at hi uncles house. He texts me and says that 'it finally hit him. he feels like a bum living out of a box and hes 27 and he feels like hes taking steps backward.'

So it seems like he knows hes making a bad decision and knows it probably wont work out with this kid in Florida, but he cant seem to say no to this fantasty of his. So I text him back and tell him I love him and wanrt him home but he cant have his cake and eat it too. I havent heard from him in a few days.

So I just get confused because our relationship was pretty strong, we didnt fight alot. He was a part of my family (he has a bad relationship with his family cuz theyre alcoholics). We have the same sense of humor and find a lot of happiness in the little things we do. And then he just drops it so quick that he didnt even have a place to stay. And he drops it all for this fantasy.

And while he was leaving, he said he really wants to remain great friends so that we can still go to the movies, and go out to eat and watch our favorite tv shows together and go to all the family functions together. And when I told him we would probably end up having sex, first he said "nah i wouldnt want to do that to you and hurt you" and then he admitted we probably would.

So he wants all the fun of our relationship, still wants to have the sex, still wants to be a part of my family, and even admits that the decision hes making is a step backwards...so why cant he just come back?

I drive myself crazy wondering if hes going to try and come back again. I told him I cannot be his friend because I cannot see him and not want to love him. I dont know.