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Should I tell my girlfriend?
#1
I am an 18 year-old male. I have been in a serious relationship with a girl for two years and four months. We are engaged, though we don't plan on getting married for several years. We have a pretty healthy sexual relationship; we both find each other attractive and we both really enjoy sex.

My problem is that I am bisexual, and that causes me guilt regarding our relationship. Though my girlfriend is also bisexual, it is different for her. She’s had past relations with other women, while I haven’t had past relations with anyone. I find her bisexuality to be extremely sexy, but to her, my bisexuality is a mixed deal. Sometimes she will say how she thinks it could be sexy, but then other times she says that the thought of me and another man together is intensely unattractive. She says that she can only imagine me in a submissive sexual role, and that, reasonably, is unattractive to her. But I can’t help what I feel. Before dating her, I had the feeling that I was completely gay, and not bisexual. But now I think that I am attracted to both men and women, maybe a little more to men and less to women. But because of the way she thinks, I have tried to downplay my sexuality, in other words, not mention any homosexual thoughts. It’s gotten to the point where I feel guilty for feeling them.

All throughout our relationship though, despite ample sexual attention from my girlfriend, I’ve always had this nagging desire, this continuous attraction for men. I regularly masturbate to pictures of men, but almost never to women. I always notice hot guys, but not as often do I see girls that I think are attractive. When I do, the attraction is the same, but it just doesn’t happen as often with women. This has gone on ever since I first had sexual feelings, and I’m used to it by now. But I promised that as long as I was in this relationship, I would keep these feeling to myself, and make sure that my girlfriend stayed oblivious of the extent of my attraction to men.

This has only become a problem recently because my girlfriend confronted me and asked me if I masturbated to porn or not. Before she asked, I had maintained that I did not masturbate at all because I had no desire to do so (this was, unfortunately, a lie). So I told the partial truth: I told her that I masturbated once or twice a week (another lie, the real amount is more) but never out of lust or desire (another lie) and never to any images (another lie) and I always thought of her (another lie). How could I tell her the truth, that almost every day I masturbate to pictures of men, and never to women? She didn’t buy my lie for long and came back to me, asking if I had been completely truthful. Now I don’t know what to do. I’m scared that if I tell her the full truth, that I masturbate to pictures of men, and almost never to pictures of women, she will think that I am completely gay and that she is wasting her time with me. My future with her is extremely important to me. I know that I love her and I know that I want to raise a family with her. But I have these strong feelings of lust that I can’t explain, and I don’t know if it will hurt her or cause our relationship to suffer. But on the other hand, I know that we should be honest to each other. But I’m scared what that might cause. I don’t know what to do.
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Messages In This Thread
Should I tell my girlfriend? - by jakem - 11-26-2010, 09:09 AM
Should I tell my girlfriend? - by curtlecritic - 11-26-2010, 11:06 AM
Should I tell my girlfriend? - by DRW - 11-26-2010, 11:34 AM
Should I tell my girlfriend? - by SlipknotRlZZ - 11-26-2010, 11:58 AM
Should I tell my girlfriend? - by marshlander - 11-26-2010, 01:25 PM
Should I tell my girlfriend? - by DarkDaisuke - 11-26-2010, 08:53 PM
Should I tell my girlfriend? - by Vigilias - 11-26-2010, 11:25 PM
Should I tell my girlfriend? - by bluefox4000 - 11-26-2010, 11:56 PM
Should I tell my girlfriend? - by princealbertofb - 11-27-2010, 12:27 AM
Should I tell my girlfriend? - by Dark Angel - 11-27-2010, 03:29 AM
Should I tell my girlfriend? - by West_coast_Steven - 11-28-2010, 08:12 AM
Should I tell my girlfriend? - by Aaycle - 11-28-2010, 09:51 AM
Should I tell my girlfriend? - by Ultra - 12-01-2010, 07:17 AM
Should I tell my girlfriend? - by postman - 12-06-2010, 12:56 AM
Should I tell my girlfriend? - by Nat3 - 12-06-2010, 03:07 AM

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