Silent Expression of the Eyes

[AlaricXY]

Guys,
I could really use some of your experiences and advice right now.
Please tell me what you think of my story.

I'm 18, and sexually confused.
I find it hard to accept myself as a young gay man, hence, I'm struggling to define my true identity.
I'm not good in picking up gay vibes or signals.


I'm still in high school.
There's this guy, R, my senior, a year older, he's kinda cute to me, taller with fair skin. Overall an attractive guy to me.
I noticed that whenever I walked pass by him, I noticed that he would stare at me,even if I pass by his classroom,he will turn his head to look at me, and we both exchange eye contact.
Never before any guy looked at me like that.This is something new to me.
Strangely, we never talked before.

Until one day,
I am involved in a school event as an additional assistant in minor works.
Guess what?
I'm asked to help R in some carpentry works.
When we are both left alone, we both do out works queutly until he asks for my name.
While I was hammering a wood to the ground, he compliments that I looked very manly doing that.
I take that as a compliment but I did not really respond much because I was petrified?
I don't know what to say.my anxiety strikes.
So, I didn't really talk to him at that moment.

I still hate myself today that I should have said or done something to show a positive feedback to him.
Maybe it is due to my sexual confusion insecurity, I'm unclear on what I want.

When that event is over, we still exchange eye contact in school whenever I saw him or walk pass by him.
He will stare at me, and I will respond in a similiar manner.
It's not glancing when we both will look at each other deeply for moments.

This eye contact thing stopped after a while, maybe I appear to be unresponsive.

The other day, I was at town, and I look deeply at a guy who looks like R, and that guy do the same in return.
Again, we both stare at each other.
Then, I realised it's actually R, in his streetwear attire.
I just walked away after I realised it's him.

Thing is, I don't know if R is gay or straight.
I didn't smile when I look at him for fearing ghat it could appear awkward.
But he didn't smile either when he looked at me directly.

I don't know if this is one of those gay vibe that sends out signal through eye contact.

What do you think he is trying to do or trying to say,guys?
Is he trying to convey a message to me?

I am clueless.
I barely know this guy, but yet, something complicated like this happen to me.

And guess what? This has been going on for a few months.

Please tell me what do you think of this R, the eye contact thing and what's going on in general.
I'm not an experienced out gay man.
Please feel free to share your thoughts.
Thank you for listening to my story.