Lost hope

[aethe]

I'm 17 (turning 18) year shy male, as a shy guy, I really want a boyfriend that protects me and make me feel wanted, throughout my life like a normal teen, I have crush over guys, but it never happens because they're straight and some who knows I'm gay decide to bully or use me to gain something and then just neglect me afterward... I've been feeling really depress lately due to this, whenever I see a couple walking in the street I get really upset, because I wonder will I ever get this feeling. I'm really afraid to be alone, but I can't help but feel that I'll never experience it and all hope is lost for me. Anyway, yeah just want to get this off my chest.