01-04-2011, 09:00 AM
I have been with my partner for 3 years. We are engaged, we lived in the USA for a year, he was deported (go unfair marriage and immigration laws), I decided to move to his country in Central America. I didn't even have to think about it. So now we live there, built a house, i got a new job, we got a car, a second house., we are living the life.
i am 22 and he is 27. We are perfect, or we were. When I met him he was mildly musular, had nice arms, skinny, etc.
Since then, things have changed. In the last few months he has packed on some weight. He is a good 15-20 pounds heavier than he was before. It seems like it has all gone to his cheeks and his gut and it kills me.
His diet has gone down but he isnt working anymore, no work for him where we live. My bilingual abilities (self taught) make me idea for a good job. I work and support us both easily.
The problem is that, he is now unattractive to me. I tried leaving him but there is still plenty of chemistry. I don't want a new partner, but I can't deal with him this way, it grosses me out. It might sound funny but it's not, when someone goes this it kills your entire attraction to them. It's horrible.
I told him he has to fix it nicely. Then i got firm, then i just got mean. he fails to respond. He says he will goto the gym, he never does, just a pipe dream.
At this point. I am young, I still look as attractive as before and have gained weight ... and I have a good career. I am confident I can find someone else, but I don't want to. I am happy, I am sure he is the one for good. If he could just FIX himself.
He says its my fault now too, I don;t support him (yeah right, i moved to Central America for the fun of it and so much else).
He also tries to blame me, says i let myself go? I only shower once a day now,he says thats dirty because i used to shower 2-3 times a day. Then again, I also now work 12 hours a day as a supervisor. I think I am justified.
I just don't know what to do. Someone else recommended withholding sex but that feels wrong. Plus he will just look at porn then on the internet I pay for ....
So, I don't know what to do .... I have already been direct, already threatened breakup, etc.
He just doesn't get it.
What do you all think ?
i am 22 and he is 27. We are perfect, or we were. When I met him he was mildly musular, had nice arms, skinny, etc.
Since then, things have changed. In the last few months he has packed on some weight. He is a good 15-20 pounds heavier than he was before. It seems like it has all gone to his cheeks and his gut and it kills me.
His diet has gone down but he isnt working anymore, no work for him where we live. My bilingual abilities (self taught) make me idea for a good job. I work and support us both easily.
The problem is that, he is now unattractive to me. I tried leaving him but there is still plenty of chemistry. I don't want a new partner, but I can't deal with him this way, it grosses me out. It might sound funny but it's not, when someone goes this it kills your entire attraction to them. It's horrible.
I told him he has to fix it nicely. Then i got firm, then i just got mean. he fails to respond. He says he will goto the gym, he never does, just a pipe dream.
At this point. I am young, I still look as attractive as before and have gained weight ... and I have a good career. I am confident I can find someone else, but I don't want to. I am happy, I am sure he is the one for good. If he could just FIX himself.
He says its my fault now too, I don;t support him (yeah right, i moved to Central America for the fun of it and so much else).
He also tries to blame me, says i let myself go? I only shower once a day now,he says thats dirty because i used to shower 2-3 times a day. Then again, I also now work 12 hours a day as a supervisor. I think I am justified.
I just don't know what to do. Someone else recommended withholding sex but that feels wrong. Plus he will just look at porn then on the internet I pay for ....
So, I don't know what to do .... I have already been direct, already threatened breakup, etc.
He just doesn't get it.
What do you all think ?
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