Hypocracy

[princealbertofb]

To give a personal example, I don't feel particularly at ease in my town holding hands with my sweetheart, he knows this, and so we generally don't, just because I don't want to attract the wrong kind of attention and get called names for it. I'd like to be able to feel free to hold his hand or not, like any straight couple. If we are at the airport saying goodbye, I'll hug him (socially acceptable, I believe) and also give him a quick kiss on the lips, but won't make it long. I don't like feeling that I'm doing something wrong when I kiss him thus, but it's quick and unfortunately there's nowhere to hide for a longer kiss, if that's what we wanted to do. I try to remember that different cultures have different kissing habits. The English don't kiss much in public, the Latin nations tend to do so... on the cheek, and Russians and Slavs don't seem to mind a bearhug and a kiss on the mouth, that is culturally acceptable. So it would not necessarily pass as gay. I don't think I'm in anyone's face, but I would like to feel safe holding my lover's hand in the street. My way of showing closeness will be to put my hand around his neck, on his shoulder, as two young men might do... or to take his arm, as if I was someone with visual impairment. But I still feel quite frustrated at the anxiety that it causes me. When you've been called names often enough, you just don't try to elicit them. Or else you might be looking for trouble. I think that's why Pride Parades are so important, they are not perfect, but they make it acceptable to display some types behaviour that seem quite normal for straights in a gay context.