3-Year Predicament - And I'm kinda scared...

[Anonymous]

Hey all,

So, I have been in a relationship with the same guy for three years now. And from what I have seen on two recent instances, things are fizzling out, and I need to make him see this.

Here's the problem: we moved in together about a year and a half into the relationship. When we were dating, things were awesome between us. When we moved in together, things took a drastic change. He has gotten snippy at me for things concerning the kitchen, cat litter, and then finally blew up at me over a bagel. This is just tip of the iceberg...

Whenever I went out with my Gay friends, he got jealous. Now, keep in mind, I have friends that are Gay that I am platonic with - I believe in monogamy in a relationship.

We have split up three times, and got back together three times. The second time, I was away from him for three months, and we started talking and planned to work things out. The third time, he threatened to call the police on me and wanted me out of the house in the weekend, because I was out with my friends (straight friends this time), I had called him and told him I was gonna be late, and he accused me of being at a Gay bar, hooking up with guys.

That last one hurt big time, and I let him know of this. I had a new place all set up, and we talked again, and he apologized profusely, and wished he hadn't said anything. We agreed to give it a go again, but I warned him that if things are not working out, and if he is having any doubts, to just let me know.

Well... I have caught him twice now, trying to hook up online. Through sources (friends) I know online that are more trusting, they said he was out and looking to meet a couple different guys online.

I guess you can say I'm very shocked right now. Or should I not be?

What scares me is, this guy has some pretty gnarly anxiety and anger issues. He will let it fly at the drop of a hat when we have fought, as you can tell with him calling the cops on me for even disagreeing with him. He just has this controlling streak in him, and I'm having a hard time shaking it. When I go to tell him whats up and everything, he gets really miserable and apologetic about it, and doesn't want things to end. And he goes and pulls this stuff.

To note, I am not pulling anything behind his back. I have my friends, he has his. I like to have a good time and hang out when I get the opportunity, with and without him. And he does the same, and it has been like that, and I thought things were cool.

So I sit here, depressed about it. I guess I just felt like venting or whatever. I just need out of this mess...

Thanks for reading.