Passionless Texting "Romance"

[Angelesgymrat]

A few months ago I met someone online--a much younger guy still in high school and not quite 18, so nothing could happen until he turned 18--a few months away. A "texting" relationship began. I was never wild about him physically and yet I did become attached, in a way. He was becoming attached to me, too. I have a pretty solitary life and enjoyed the attention, fed on the attention, but he always claimed he wasn't getting what he wanted from me. (We did meet once or twice for coffee.) I loved the sound of texts coming to my device! Then he turned 18 and we did get together... He aroused all sorts of emotions in me but not lust. Ethnicity, face, body--that kind of thing was missing. It was warm and cuddly with him but clearly he didn't get what he wanted from me sexually and even before the first time HE'D ALREADY MET ANOTHER MAN ONLINE and said he loved us both "equally." I wanted to go on, even without passion, but when I found out he really was sleeping with the other man, that was too much and, without saying anything, I "drifted away." He sent me a few smiling emoticons etc and I made polite conversation but it all died away. It's only been a few days. I know that, in a way, I led him on...he seemed like a SAFE person, so different from my usual type, and so I thought I could make a go of it. But for someone his age who likes men 30 or 40 years older it must be very easy to find something with someone else... So.. no texts anymore... I've left a lot out here...I know what happened and why, and yet it still hurts and I will need time to heal. I know he was in love with me and I enjoyed that and I did feel a strong attachment to him without ever wanting him the way he wanted to be wanted.
Anybody ever been there, from either perspective? Any thoughts? Thanks :-)