Confused, emotional, and sometimes even depresed

[Teen]

First of all, hello everyone i just joined after looking around for over a week and this is my first post

im 17 years old (very mature for my age however) , gay, not out, and have been seeing this guy who is 21 for couple months now..

here is my problem..first of all we are both not out.. problem is I cant see myself ever been out just because i have religious parents who are both fairly young and they would never accept me (i constantly have to take them making fun off/being in digust with other gay people they see)

second problem is that because of our age differences, it is technically not legal for us to be together. and im not sure if thats the reason why or not but we both have been seeing each other for months, meeting up, having sex, but we arent "dating" as in a relationship..he lives an hour away as well which may be also the reason that we arent "dating" just casually meeting up and it usually leads to sex

however, i keep thinking about him and i feel like im emotionally attached to him and im scared to lose him which is why im scared to ask if he wants to be in a "relationship"

this has caused me to be really emotional lately ive been just sitting thinking and i feel like its making me depressed

idk if anyone has any advice but I just needed somewhere to vent out since no one knows im gay but him and i cant talk to any1 about it