11-28-2011, 09:09 AM
Hi guys,
Firstly, I would like to commend you all on an excellent and active community forum. It really is heartening to have stumbled upon this forum and find other people out there with similar likes and in similar situations.
Well, I am a 25 yr old guy from a small city in South Africa. I have been struggling with my sexuality for years and really can't remember when last I could say that I was truly happy.
The reason why I am posting here is that I am in a predicament with my current relationship. I have been dating a guy for two years now and he has been my first serious bf. We are both largely out to our friends but our families are really a no go area. We both still live with our parents ( I am still studying but hoping to move out in the new year.) We are about an hour's drive apart and see each other once a week.
I really do love my bf and have intense feelings of care for him. I can't imagine a life without him because he is just so incredibly special and loving. However, I was getting bored in the relationship. I am quite educated and enjoy similar company. He is very down to earth and is more into the gossip scene and entertainment, etc. He has always been a perfect gentleman to me and truly adores and treats me like a king. However, I just find that it isn't enough lately - and I don't know if it is because we don't have a future or I am just being difficult because I still find loving and being with a man 'weird'.
I am a good and caring person at heart but I cheated on my bf with an old friend about two months ago. I told my bf about it because I really could not base a relationship on a lie. He says he has forgiven me and that we are starting anew. However, I can't seem to forgive myself and ever since then I just simply don't see him in the same way. I am also so grossed out by sex at the moment that I have to imagine that I am in a different place. I really don't know what to do any more and I regret cheating so much. It is not the person I am because I know how much it hurts as I have been on the receiving end before.
Firstly, I would like to commend you all on an excellent and active community forum. It really is heartening to have stumbled upon this forum and find other people out there with similar likes and in similar situations.
Well, I am a 25 yr old guy from a small city in South Africa. I have been struggling with my sexuality for years and really can't remember when last I could say that I was truly happy.
The reason why I am posting here is that I am in a predicament with my current relationship. I have been dating a guy for two years now and he has been my first serious bf. We are both largely out to our friends but our families are really a no go area. We both still live with our parents ( I am still studying but hoping to move out in the new year.) We are about an hour's drive apart and see each other once a week.
I really do love my bf and have intense feelings of care for him. I can't imagine a life without him because he is just so incredibly special and loving. However, I was getting bored in the relationship. I am quite educated and enjoy similar company. He is very down to earth and is more into the gossip scene and entertainment, etc. He has always been a perfect gentleman to me and truly adores and treats me like a king. However, I just find that it isn't enough lately - and I don't know if it is because we don't have a future or I am just being difficult because I still find loving and being with a man 'weird'.
I am a good and caring person at heart but I cheated on my bf with an old friend about two months ago. I told my bf about it because I really could not base a relationship on a lie. He says he has forgiven me and that we are starting anew. However, I can't seem to forgive myself and ever since then I just simply don't see him in the same way. I am also so grossed out by sex at the moment that I have to imagine that I am in a different place. I really don't know what to do any more and I regret cheating so much. It is not the person I am because I know how much it hurts as I have been on the receiving end before.
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