What doyou think?

[Bowyn Aerrow]

So then it might be better for him I do end it? Or at least broach the topic of him being more self-directed?

Better being?????

I have no idea what you think is 'better than' what he has now. Better than is usually a false ideology - sort of the 'grass is greener on the other side of the fence'.

You can try to tell him to be more self directed, that usually doesn't work with codependent people. IF he is codependent. If he is, he will not see it as such. And that takes either therapy (couples counseling) to figure it out or a personal level eureka moment.

I think it sounds like codependency, this is mostly and off the cuff 'first impression' based on what we have discussed to this point. It isn't a proven fact.

You are asking 'Whats best for him?' 'What's best for me?' - What you haven't asked is 'What's best for US'.

There is no way on this earth I can read a few posts and determine what is best for anyone. No therapist would do that either. Determining what is 'best for us' requires to people willing and able to work together to discover what this 'us' entity is.

There is a difference between willing and able - Many are willing, few are able.

There is a lot more about your relationship I have not heard about. I have no idea how you feel when you open your eyes and first see him in the morning. I have no idea what his smile does to your heart. I have no idea if you too watching TV together is comfortable or 'ugly' to you - or him.

I have no idea what his past partnerships were like, and I can't look into his head and tell you what he is thinking.

I don't know what is best for him, good for him, better for him. For all we know he might see everything in your relationship as perfectly normal and 'happy' and breaking up with him would devastate him.