Some help?

[Robbie]

Everyday I struggle with who I am as a person. I feel anxious and down most of the time.
Being gay makes me feel like less of a person, and I don't know how to be myself around people. I'm not feminine at all, in fact everyone I meet says they never suspect me gay. This makes it difficult to let people know who I am. It feels like everyone expects me to be something, and when I'm not I feel like I let them down. Sometimes I try really hard to act all tough and be someone who I am not. I hate it! I just want to be myself. A lot of the time, when I'm in public, I'm always watching myself, being careful not to do anything "gay" and I over think every movement I make.
I just worry too much about what others think of me.
Being like this is tiring, and the only time I can relax is when I'm alone or with my closest friend.
I'm not as friendly towards people as I used to be, and I think its because I don't love myself the way I used to.

Oh and I'm a slut. Every guy that throws himself at me I get excited and think its love. I give that guy everything..my heart, my body...

I want to love myself more and have better confidence. I know I'm effin cute and smart and funny. I know I'm a good person. I just don't know who I am right now and I'm scurred.