Please help

[antonym]

Hi, I hope someone might be able to shed some light on my situation. I am a 39-year-old married man with children. I love my wife very much. But, ever since puberty, I've had as many sexual fantasies and thoughts as I have for women. I find women attractive and a sexual turn-on, but now, at almost 40, I never think of women sexually anymore. I've started to look at porn late at night and I always look at nude men. My sex life with my wife has fallen off almost completely and, when we do make love, I think about being with a guy. I've even started to fantasize about dating men and what that would be like.

I've never been with a man in anyway shape or form, sexually or romantically. I don't want to lose my family or hurt my wife, so I've been working hard to suppress my feelings, but that is becoming more and more difficult. In fact, I find myself often waking up in the middle of the night, almost fevered for want of being with a man. I have started taking meds for depression. However, since I've never been with a man, how do I know that I would like it, and I don't just mean sex. Am I gay? Bi? Straight but suffering a midlife crisis? I'd hate to give up my marriage only to discover that I am straight after all. But, how can I really know without following that path? I don't want to cheat on my wife, but if I ask her for the time/freedom to explore this, I will forever change in her eyes and my marriage wouldn't last anyway. Any suggestions? I feel lost.