Crushing on a friend fml

[sneakyc25]

I am crushing hard on a new friend of mine and I would much rather just be friends. I know he is attracted to me as he has told me and we messed around. I really hate it and would really like to just have a new friend. I don't want to jump into a relationship anytime soon as I would like to be alone to sort things out. I just got out of a long term relationship so i would like to give myself time. I have been super depressed lately and this might be one of the factors. I have felt so lonely and sad lately, Today and yesterday I drove around for a few hours and got dinner alone and just felt like such a loser. Driving around the city with no where to go and no one to talk to. I cried a few times as well and I feel like I would be better off dead although I know that is selfish and stupid of me.

I have just been really sad lately and I wish my friends were there for me, but it seems they are all too busy. I don't blame them. I have just reached a really low point and would like to turn it around, but I can't seem to shake the depressing feelings.

If this doesn't make perfect sense it is because I am quite drunk at the current moment. I hate how drunkenness makes certain things clear. I should have stayed home tonight and just been miserable. I had fun and met some new people as well as another cute boy >< I don't know what I am doing anymore and I would just like to be happy again...

Thanks ahead of time if you actually read this. I know I seem to ask a lot from ya'll and seem really depressing and I am sorry for this. I am just at a really low point in my life. I think I am going to cry again =(

I drove home drunk and saw 3 cops... I am lucky =/