01-16-2012, 11:15 PM
Hi,
I am just getting out of a five year relationship. There was nothing obviously bad about the relationship. We had our fights, but generally we got a long. I just felt alone as we did nothing together for the last few years. I couldn't even get him to go out of the house to the local bar. It was to the point where I assumed he wouldn't come to anything and he was fine with it. I ended up sleeping in the spare room a lot and just moved in there a few months before the breakup.
I slowly found myself feeling alone and looking for other guys to meet. I knew this was the wrong thing to do, but I slowly pushed the limit of how far I would go. I finally met a guy who was exactly what I was looking for. We met for drinks and had a great time. The next day I realized that I still wanted to see this guy because we had such a great time together . . . I am talking socially not sexually. That night we were planning to go out again. I wanted to be honest with him because that was the only way we had a chance together. I had to tell him that I was still in a relationship but had been planning on breaking it off for a long time . . . which was all true. We talked a lot about how weird the situation was and after a few days, I mustered the courage to talk to my ex boyfriend and told him that I no longer felt our relationship was working. It was a very cordial break up . . . we are still living together for money and practical reasons . . . There's no angry blood from what I can tell.
This past weekend the new guy was really busy . . . and he told me so. I tried not to text him too much or call him, but I found myself thinking about him all weekend. I was making myself sick with worry that he was going to decide that I wasn't the right guy for him. His friends say that I am not good enough because I am a cheater . . . which is a valid point on their part. I know I made mistakes, but I'm not going to pretend that I didn't do them.
We are both very masculine and neither of us have found someone like the other . . . I think I stayed with my boyfriend so long because I never thought I would find someone like the other guy. Well, now I find that it has been a long weekend and all I have done was think about him and drink because I was anxious/worried about the new guy. I really like him and he says that he really likes me. We both realize that I am just getting out of a long term relationship and my mind tells me to take things slow . . . but it is hard to sit back and not call or text him. I am not sure if my feelings are out of desperation because I don't want to be alone or if I should be cautious because the new guy is taking advantage of me. He said he would "call me in a few" but still hasn't called back and it has been about 4 hours . . . I know it is really early to be worrying about this stuff, but I can't sit at home anymore with a turning stomach and a mind that's racing.
Anyone have any advice?
I am just getting out of a five year relationship. There was nothing obviously bad about the relationship. We had our fights, but generally we got a long. I just felt alone as we did nothing together for the last few years. I couldn't even get him to go out of the house to the local bar. It was to the point where I assumed he wouldn't come to anything and he was fine with it. I ended up sleeping in the spare room a lot and just moved in there a few months before the breakup.
I slowly found myself feeling alone and looking for other guys to meet. I knew this was the wrong thing to do, but I slowly pushed the limit of how far I would go. I finally met a guy who was exactly what I was looking for. We met for drinks and had a great time. The next day I realized that I still wanted to see this guy because we had such a great time together . . . I am talking socially not sexually. That night we were planning to go out again. I wanted to be honest with him because that was the only way we had a chance together. I had to tell him that I was still in a relationship but had been planning on breaking it off for a long time . . . which was all true. We talked a lot about how weird the situation was and after a few days, I mustered the courage to talk to my ex boyfriend and told him that I no longer felt our relationship was working. It was a very cordial break up . . . we are still living together for money and practical reasons . . . There's no angry blood from what I can tell.
This past weekend the new guy was really busy . . . and he told me so. I tried not to text him too much or call him, but I found myself thinking about him all weekend. I was making myself sick with worry that he was going to decide that I wasn't the right guy for him. His friends say that I am not good enough because I am a cheater . . . which is a valid point on their part. I know I made mistakes, but I'm not going to pretend that I didn't do them.
We are both very masculine and neither of us have found someone like the other . . . I think I stayed with my boyfriend so long because I never thought I would find someone like the other guy. Well, now I find that it has been a long weekend and all I have done was think about him and drink because I was anxious/worried about the new guy. I really like him and he says that he really likes me. We both realize that I am just getting out of a long term relationship and my mind tells me to take things slow . . . but it is hard to sit back and not call or text him. I am not sure if my feelings are out of desperation because I don't want to be alone or if I should be cautious because the new guy is taking advantage of me. He said he would "call me in a few" but still hasn't called back and it has been about 4 hours . . . I know it is really early to be worrying about this stuff, but I can't sit at home anymore with a turning stomach and a mind that's racing.
Anyone have any advice?
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