What I am going thru

[Jaenluv]

I'm just a regular guy, that has a lot going on both physcally and mentally. I have suffered from depression, and the need to have that right person in my life. Over the past 4 years I had been involved in a relationship that I had planned on being in from the rest of my life, naive I know. I broke with him and it really sent me to a different place emotionally. I begin acting like a average single guy, meeeting random guys and having sex with people just cause they wanted me. Actually met a couple of guy that i would have like to get to know. But i knew that it would ever workout, based off the reason we met. Within the last month of 2011 I begin opening up myself to wanting to believe in the love I have. I met this guy that I really like and he returns every bit of the attention I give. My problem lies with the distance btwn the two of us (this was also an issue wit my last relationship). And We cant see each other as much as we want, it then becomes a trying situation when I'm horny and want him. Because of the distance I have been look else where to fulfill my sexual desires. I don't think it's right, with temptation all around me, it really hard. ( I know some will say masturbation, but that I find so hard to do cause I don't get the satisfication I need.) Many night I fall asleep with a hard on, and wake up with the need to have the attention, affection, pressence of a man. I felt at one point in a past relationship that I had grow dependent on my lover, not for nothing but his affection & love. I don't want this neediness to be over baring on the person I am interested now. So as the days go by I try to occupy my thought with other things, things that don't involve him or anything that will bring on the sexual erruges-- not easy !! But this is me !!
I guess I came here to vent and have something to do with my thoughts...