super lost (sorry for length)

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Hi guys! So I'm about to have a panic attack just posting this so if its a bit scattered I'm sorry. First I think a bit if background before my question.

I'm 24, raised very Christian and never thought id be on a website like this one.
I was married to a woman for 5 years and divorced about a year ago because she's insane we have 2 children ages 4 and 3 who are my whole world.

When I was a young kid, between 6 and 8 I had a 'special ' friend who was a boy from my school. As I got older I exclusively was attracted to girls.

After the divorce I met this Guy and we had sex, he was bottom and I had no real attraction to him, I was just very lonely. I have been too freaked out to try it again, but I think about sex with guys all the time. I want to but I have no idea if its going to be another disaster. I guess the question in all this is, how do I figure out if its something worth trying when I don't know any gay guys, all my friends are super straight and I'm just scared I guess.

<3's all around. Thanks for any response