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Unread 15th February 2017   #46
Lesley72
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I am unphased by @deephiance's comments. He is clearly dealing with his own issues. No, that's not my name; I haven't even put where I live. If my ex is on here, it is unlikely he would care what he read because he is a sociopath, incapable of remorse or guilt...literally...I'm not just saying that because he is my ex. I would add that it is narcisstic to believe you can mislead someone about your sexuality and waste years of their life...and then, if they decide to speak of it to sort their own thoughts out...it's gossip. No. My ex stole our kids' and everyone else's Christmas money from his mother...his wife found out, and that's what started us talking. She needed support from someone who knew what she was going through. In hindsight, probably not a good idea, but I don't have it in me to be mean to someone going through all of that.
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Unread 15th February 2017   #47
Lesley72
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It's very narcisstic to think someone's sexuality only affects them and is only their business. It is also the business of whomever they have chosen to marry or be in a relationship with, as the years of their life are ticking away while the other is keeping secrets and wasting their time. I would love to elaborate, but those never post.
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Unread 15th February 2017   #48
Doc
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I think you're worrying about this too much, you're not married to him anymore. Or maybe you are projecting your own homosexual tendencies onto him to try and justify something? Think about it.
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Unread 15th February 2017   #49
Lesley72
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I think you believe I'm more concerned than I really am. I'm not crying over it. I was curious the day I wrote the post, because of the new information I had and so many things over the years started making me think. I was curious if I had missed something right in front of me, and I figured a gay man would be more discernible of those behaviors than I. I've been waiting to be able to discuss, but most or my posts don't even show up.
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Unread 15th February 2017   #50
Doc
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Still consider the possibility that you yourself may be a repressed lesbian, you could just be projecting fears about your own sexual preferences onto your ex-husband, remember it takes two to tango.
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Unread 15th February 2017   #51
Darius
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lesley72 View Post
It's very narcisstic to think someone's sexuality only affects them and is only their business. It is also the business of whomever they have chosen to marry or be in a relationship with, as the years of their life are ticking away while the other is keeping secrets and wasting their time. I would love to elaborate, but those never post.
You are absolutely right, Lesley. What you describe is a life with someone built on a foundation of lies. Not only does it damage the marriage relationship but likely the relationship with children. Being secretive is dishonesty.
Is it at all possible that you are feeling something that just isn't there? Maybe you want to explain his behavior by defining his sexuality incorrectly? Maybe he is damaged or wounded in some way? Maybe his issues are not with sexuality? Maybe he is just not a very nice guy?
If you're guessing, imagine what we are doing.
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Unread 15th February 2017   #52
Lesley72
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True, he is very wounded and diagnosed with personality disorder. So, it is probably that. I wasn't asking based on fears, just wanted to get to the bottom of another lie. I think it has more to do with my control issues and wanting an answer to everything...and that isn't real life. I hate unresolved issues. As for being a repressed lesbian, lol, no sir. I like men very much. Women would be like doing it with my sister. I prefer big, strong men with nice wieners. I was hoping gay men might have a magical radar or something to help me out.
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Unread 15th February 2017   #53
Doc
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lesley72 View Post
I prefer big, strong men with nice wieners.
I'll bet you do, I didn't think you were a lesbian sweetheart, I was just trying to get a rise out of you. I was having a little fun that's all.

Lesley, Lesbian maybe a little similarity there? Lol
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Unread 15th February 2017   #54
Lesley72
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Haha! Yes, maybe I should've chosen my name more wisely lol.
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Unread 15th February 2017   #55
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lesley72 View Post
Haha! Yes, maybe I should've chosen my name more wisely lol.
There's no reason this can't be fun.
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Unread 16th February 2017   #56
Darius
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lesley72 View Post
True, he is very wounded and diagnosed with personality disorder. So, it is probably that. I wasn't asking based on fears, just wanted to get to the bottom of another lie. I think it has more to do with my control issues and wanting an answer to everything...and that isn't real life. I hate unresolved issues. As for being a repressed lesbian, lol, no sir. I like men very much. Women would be like doing it with my sister. I prefer big, strong men with nice wieners. I was hoping gay men might have a magical radar or something to help me out.
Glad you came around to it. If by radar you mean gaydar, it's kind of hard to have that unless we see him.
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