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Humour Got any funny jokes you want to share?

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Unread 3rd March 2013   #1
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Default Too funny not to share

I couldn't find a thread for various funny things found on the internet that doesn't fall in a specific category, so I decided to create a random funny stuff thread

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Unread 3rd March 2013   #2
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Unread 3rd March 2013   #3
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Unread 3rd March 2013   #4
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Got to love that Gary Larson!


Quote:
Originally Posted by MissingNYC View Post
 
Unread 3rd March 2013   #5
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In the early 1960's, I went to high school in NYC. I saw a cartoon in the New Yorker and passed it around to my friends in high school. A boy was sitting between his mom and dad. The father said, "Son, we told you that masturbation was normal. We would rather you not do it at the dinner table."

It seemed funny to me and my friends. But wait. Current right wingers come on Fox TV and tell us we need a constitutional amendment to ban masturbation. I hope those assholes are trying to be humorous. I would hate to see high school students commit suicide rather than masturbate.
 
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Unread 3rd March 2013   #6
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Lmao, funny stuff! I guess I will contribute!
SiQQ8K1q.jpg

I'm totally a crazy cat lady, and laughed so hard when seeing this
 
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Unread 3rd March 2013   #7
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Unread 4th March 2013   #8
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Unread 4th March 2013   #9
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Here is the test to find whether your mission on Earth is finished: if you're alive, it isn't.
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Unread 4th March 2013   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by monk View Post
Poor you, bet you can't even fit your hand around it to hold it properly?
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Unread 4th March 2013   #11
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Unread 5th March 2013   #12
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Unread 5th March 2013   #14
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Unread 5th March 2013   #15
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A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she placed an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand.

Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk.

She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk.

He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching. For weeks, the two of them worked hard and the ranch was doing very well.

Then one day, the rancher's widow said "You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great.
You should go into town and kick up your heels. " The hired hand readily agreed and went into town on Saturday night.

He returned around 2:30 am, and upon entering the room, he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him.

She quietly called him over to her.

"Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said. Trembling, he did as she directed.

"Now take off my boots." He did as she asked, ever so slowly.

"Now take off my socks." He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots.

"Now take off my skirt." He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light.

"Now take off my bra." Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor.

Then she looked at him and said:

"If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired."
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