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Unread 7th February 2017   #1
InbetweenDreams
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Default Where & How.... In a Rural Area

Besides telling me to move, which yes will eventually be in the works while I work on my things... In the mean time, yeah I doubt there's much chance in getting into a serious relationship and frankly I think anything beyond steadily dating someone would be unwise for me and the other person.

I'm not much for hookups... They just don't feel right with me. Plus the added risk (yeah I know, wear a condom) but still. I find it very difficult in this area to find...anything really. Not that there isn't a complete lack of guys, between distance, looks, sexual compatibility, what they want, etc.

While I realize now that me in a relationship is probably not a good idea, at least looking at where I am and how long it will be before I get myself out of debt and so on. I do think I need some kind of partner in crime... whether that just be a good friend, friend with benefits? I mean I do think I need something in that department too but seems to be hard to find someone who either A. really believes your intentions, that they aren't just sex or whatever, or B. Who actually want the same thing. I find that people will just say whatever to get what they want. Now I'm pretty up front, or at least feel that way.

Anyway, probably repeating what I have written in other threads. But I'm kind of stuck with crap like Gridr, POF and other similar apps... I am going to look at PFLAG, as I was incorrect in assuming that I needed to be a member, I don't and don't need to pay anything. So yeah I need to meet new people and so on, I just don't have many ways of doing that.

I don't know if there's other ideas, other apps? Pray?

Probably not going to hear anything ground breaking or new but thought I would try it again.
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Unread 7th February 2017   #2
Borg69
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OkCupid is a "dating" site. It doesn't have quite the hookup reputation grinder does.

Have you tried googling your city name + gay to see what pops up? There are almost always bowling leagues, pot lucks, hike groups, photography, ... you may not initially be attracted to the people in the group. Socialize. Network. Maybe they know someone who knows someone...

Here, and your personal site you don't say where you're from. While I understand the need for privacy, you also limit others from finding you.
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Unread 7th February 2017   #3
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Originally Posted by Borg69 View Post
OkCupid is a "dating" site. It doesn't have quite the hookup reputation grinder does.

Have you tried googling your city name + gay to see what pops up? There are almost always bowling leagues, pot lucks, hike groups, photography, ... you may not initially be attracted to the people in the group. Socialize. Network. Maybe they know someone who knows someone...

Here, and your personal site you don't say where you're from. While I understand the need for privacy, you also limit others from finding you.
Yeah that's why I changed my username. I mean those are good points but being gay and having information on myself like my location makes things kind of risky in that sense. Maybe I'm a little paranoid on that and could loosen up in some ways.

So I did google it and basically got nothing at all... I did see some stuff for Asheville...which is a couple hours away... Not that it is too far for me but hard to do on a regular basis and often enough most people don't want to drive that far...talking about 100 miles...
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Unread 7th February 2017   #4
Borg69
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Asheville sounds kind of fun, on "paper".

https://www.exploreasheville.com/sto...iendly-travel/

https://m.facebook.com/GayAshevilleNC/

http://www.movoto.com/guide/nc/the-7...lgbt-families/

http://ashevilleblog.com/gay-lesbian/
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Unread 7th February 2017   #5
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Yeah Asheville is the closest place from me that I could go, again it's 100 miles...but I will look more into Asheville see if there's some LGBT pages for strictly Asheville and see what I can find I guess...because there's just not much here...

Well the PFLAG group meets this Sunday so I'll give that a go and see how that goes..
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Unread 7th February 2017   #6
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Not sure if I gave OkCupid a go or not...I know I had it but I don't recall it being one I used very much. One of the problem I have are the ads and the nonsensical features... Like POF's "meet me"... Um, let's start with messages first...
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Unread 8th February 2017   #7
Borg69
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I know where you're coming from being from a small town with limited options. I wouldn't necessarily look at these dating sites as a solution to your problem but instead more of a lifeline to remind you that there are other gay men out there and you're not alone.
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Unread 8th February 2017   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Borg69 View Post
I know where you're coming from being from a small town with limited options. I wouldn't necessarily look at these dating sites as a solution to your problem but instead more of a lifeline to remind you that there are other gay men out there and you're not alone.
I guess that makes sense. It would be nice to hold someone though...

Can't say much but part of me still feels like it's something I did wrong, part of me wants to wait around as long as it takes even though it was made pretty clear I think...like I'm looking for loopholes in what was said and loopholes or not doesn't change. Need to get over it... I'd pack my bags tonight if I could and maybe get on with my life, but nothing is simple, everything has to be hard and we make it hard...
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Unread 8th February 2017   #9
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I remember OkCupid...lol I got back on that, already had an account and stopped using it, looks like 2013 lol

People don't seem to message much and well I think they're mostly the same people on everything else lol

Got to love it. I did start a few conversations with a few guys on POF... of course none are really anywhere near me. I look up where there at, find out how far it is and whether I would be willing to make the drive. There was one cute guy all the way up in Lexington, KY damn... I mean very very unlikely that they would actually be willing to make the drive, although could meet them halfway and do something in Knoxville... I just don't know how something long distance would work...because it usually doesn't...

Just the problems I run into with guys, they're just far enough out to not want to bother with it...Of course then I do get the crazies who want to meet me halfway across the state and maybe get a hotel room lol I'm like...hmm a little too much there dude...Or maybe I'm just uptight? I don't know I mean the idea of getting a hotel with someone I hardly know, just met sounds more like a long distance hookup than anything. Had that offer a while back :/
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Unread 8th February 2017   #10
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https://www.google.com/search?client...k1.3W5JLvYF4Y0

How about these?
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Unread 8th February 2017   #11
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Yeah I found a few other dating sides, or rather a way of doing personal ads...but I think focusing on Asheville probably the only thing going for me, unless you know lightning strikes again? Not that there aren't any gay guy in the area, either I know them, tried dating them or just not my cup of tea for one reason or another.
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Unread 8th February 2017   #12
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There must be some hot and horny farm boys there, aren't there?
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Unread 8th February 2017   #13
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Originally Posted by Darius View Post
There must be some hot and horny farm boys there, aren't there?
Some yeah but most won't speak to me and some might not exactly be clean, lots of people in the closet, or married and all that -- which I'm not really wanting to get in the middle of...
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Unread 8th February 2017   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by InbetweenDreams View Post
Some yeah but most won't speak to me and some might not exactly be clean, lots of people in the closet, or married and all that -- which I'm not really wanting to get in the middle of...
Stay away from the married ones for sure, but the closet guys might work out. Why won't thy talk to you? Are thy shy? I never met a farm boy who wasn't horny24/7. As far as cleanliness goes, you can take him in the shower.
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Unread 8th February 2017   #15
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In my experience the closet guys are very difficult to deal with, don't want to share a photo...etc

I don't know why all the other guys don't talk to me, particularly on grindr, either not their cup of tea or something...

Most of the problems I have with dating apps are simply no one is nearby, everyone is so far off that even if I'm ok with the distance, they aren't and usually when they aren't they don't reply...or once they find out, or bother to read my profile stop talking...
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